𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝑺𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒔 • yeonbin & taegyu ✓

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°•𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 • paranoia, mental illness•°

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𝖄𝖊𝖔𝖓𝖏𝖚𝖓 looked at the four males in front of him, not sure of what to think anymore. they were all in the living room, some eating and some talking, but the black haired was just quiet while staring at the others. beomgyu was changing kai's bandage, who ate some crackers, and taehyun had just came out of his room after spending the day resting. soobin was feeding mang while talking to the shortest.

the black haired moved on his seat, feeling the palms of his hands starting to sweat. were the others planning something? maybe. he needed to be careful and pay attention to what they were doing. it was even safe to believe in soobin at this point? did the male really loved him like he said or was he just trying to get into yeonjun's mind?

he wasn't sure anymore.

"tae, do you know what happened in the community? why it was attacked so suddently." soobin asked the shorter, grabbing the black haired's attention.

"oh, yeah. we- the community was having problems with a group for some time, they always stole things from other people and were trying to do the same there." taehyun rested his head on the back of the couch, closing his eyes. "namjoon thought it was under control but i warned that they could try something, so i asked for the rest of the guns we had hidden. jun didn't gave it, hongjoong got stressed and wanted to do things without our guns, one thing led to another and in the end, the attack got us by surprise."

"you should've told me that." yeonjun said and the younger opened his eyes, looking at him.

"you wouldn't give the guns either way."

"i'm not saying it because of that, if they were after the community they can find this place. we're not safe here." the black haired rubbed his forehead, getting even more stressed, he was so on edge he would probably explode anytime.

"junnie." the said male looked at soobin, who held his hand and smiled softly. "we're going to be okay, don't stress yourself so much."

the soft smile yeonjun liked so much, along with the warm eyes and dimples. was it all fake? the oldest got up, leaving the room without looking back, he needed to breathe, he needed to calm down, but how could he when the others were probably planning behind his back? yeonjun needed to focus and get himself ready.

soobin stared at where yeonjun was minutes before, he wasn't understanding what was happening. wasn't it supposed to get better after they left the clinic? why it seemed to be worse? what was going through yeonjun's mind?

"he's worse." kai said, feeling uneasy. he didn't like when yeonjun was like that, it was like putting a hand in front of a tiger, even when knowing it was dangerous, and waiting to get hurt, but still hoping for the attack to not happen soon. you would always still get hurt though.

"i know, i don't know what to do. he seems paranoiac like before, but why? we didn't do anything." soobin furrowed his brows, he wanted to help but how could he when the male didn't talk with him?

"i think it's better to leave him." beomgyu said quietly, staring at the floor. "if he's paranoiac then going after him will only make it worse, he will probably think you have second intentions."

"but i can't just leave him like that to take everything by himself! he needs help, last time he-" soobin averted his eyes and went silent, he couldn't tell the others, it wasn't his choice.

"soobin's right. we can't just leave him, at least you have to try bin, he trusts you the most." taehyun looked at the taller, who had a worried expression. it was obvious that when the oldest hurt, soobin hurt too.

"it can't be that bad, right? he never did anything much, just punched tae." kai tried, he didn't know everything, so of course he would think it wasn't that worrying.

"it is, hyuka. it's really bad." taehyun said calmly, looking at his hand. he didn't think he would ever forget when he opened the door and saw yeonjun on the floor, bleeding.

"go after him then, binnie." the long haired looked at his brother, who seemed in the verge of crying. soobin always worried ten times more than other people, and considering he loved the black haired, it was probably a lot.

"i- i'm scared." soobin stared at taehyun, almost having a silent talk. the younger knew why he was scared, yeonjun could be really destructive with himself, so soobin was afraid it would be too bad and something would happen.

"i know, i am too, but he needs you binnie." taehyun smiled sadly to the taller, it was almost a reminder to himself that beomgyu needed him too, even if he was scared.

"call us if something happens." kai squeezed soobin's hand, trying to give the male some support. "we'll be here to help."

"okay, thanks hyuka." soobin patted the blonde's head softly, giving him a smile before going to his room, where he knew the black haired would be.

the taller took a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever could happen, and knocked on the door, not receiving any reply.

"junnie? can i come in?" the male put his ear on the door, trying to hear anything from the inside.

"why?"

"what do you mean? i want to check on you." soobin furrowed his brows, why else would he be there for if not to see yeonjun?

"why do you want to check on me? i'm fine, nothing happened, i just want to be alone." soobin felt his eyes getting watery, it wasn't happening what he thought it was, right? yeonjun wasn't suspecting him, right?

"junnie?"

"what?"

"are you- are you doubting me?"

silence.

it was enough of an answer. soobin stepped back, putting a hand on his mouth. did he not do enough for yeonjun? did he not give enough? tried enough? showed enough? was it his fault? was he not able to make yeonjun trust him enough? like him enough? believe him enough? have enough?

did yeonjun even liked him at all?

was all of that his fault?

"bunny." yeonjun said quietly, soobin realized he was closer from the door than before. "it's not your fault."

soobin let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, maybe it really wasn't his fault, it didn't matter whose fault it was. he needed to be strong, he needed to remind himself yeonjun was traumatized by something. it wasn't about him, it was about the black haired.

then again, it was never about him.

"i know, junnie. just let me help." the younger rested his forehead on the door, hoping the black haired would open it.

"i don't need help." but he needed, he really needed. yeonjun just didn't want to admit it.

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