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#40: Forever Falls Apart - Part II

Hello. :)

So, here's the second part of the previous chapter (#39: Forever Falls Apart - Part I). If you haven't already read it, go check it out first. Like I said at the beginning of the first part, this story will also have a third (and last) part.

Trigger warnings: severe mental illness, self-harming, suicide attempt, various references to alcoholism, violence and abuse. Also, talking about death quite a lot.

(I noticed I'm one of the few writers here who put an A.N. before their chapters. Lol)

Anyway, I hope you like this chapter! :)

Published on March 2022
...

Thor was on his way to Loki's house. He had called his brother to notify him he was coming, but Loki never picked up, which made Thor even more eager to visit him, because yes, Loki sometimes did hang up on him, but he rarely didn't answer the phone, and when that happened, it was a bad sign. He called again as he held the wheel with one hand and the mobile phone with the other. Every ring that went by without Loki answering it added to the sickening worry Thor felt.

When he pulled over in front of Loki's house, he jumped out of the car and ran to the door like an athlete running in a marathon. He knocked, his fist making the door rattle. No response, no sound of steps approaching, no movement of the curtain of the nearby window. Thor hurriedly started searching his pockets, and a couple of seconds later, he brought out the keys of Loki's house that the God of Mischief had given him.

When he got in, he started looking for his brother in the house. When he stepped into the bathroom, his heart skipped a beat; Loki was lying still in the water-filled bathtub, his wrists sliced open and his face paler than ever. There was blood everywhere--a terrifying amount of blood that made Thor shudder.

"Loki!" he cried as he put his fingers on the side of his brother's windpipe below the jawbone, looking for a pulse. The coldness of Loki's skin--almost corpse-like cold--made his heart drop, but when he felt the faint beat under his fingertips, his worry mingled with hope. He pulled Loki's unresponsive body out of the water. "I've got you, brother. I've got you."

~-~-~

The beeping sound of the heart monitor that echoed in the room was the first thing Loki heard when he slowly began waking up. He could hear nothing else apart from the rhythmic "beep" that rang in his ears. He needed some minutes to focus on sounds, with his eyes still shut, to get a better sense of the place he was in. Voices sounded from afar, probably from other rooms, and Loki tried to understand what they were saying to distract his mind from the constant and annoying beeps but to no avail. He inhaled deeply, and he could smell the sterile, distinctive mix of antiseptics and the artificial fragrance contained in soaps and cleaners.

He opened his eyes; his vision was unfocused, and the light over his head felt too bright. He moaned as he shut his eyes again, still trying to understand what was going on. The beeping continued, and it took him a few seconds to realise what kind of place he was in. A hospital. Oh goodness, what the hell have I done? He tried to remember his actions before waking up here, but the last memory he had that was clear and distinct was him standing in front of the bathroom sink. After that, the memories were blurred--he could only remember immense emotional void and glimpses of a knife and blood, but other than that, he must have been so dissociated that most of the evening was entirely blacked out in his mind.

This was when nurses noticed he was awake, and someone quickly ran to his side. They said something, but he didn't make out what it was; he looked up, but he could only spot a blurry silhouette standing over him. He tried to move his hand but immediately became aware of the physical pain on his wrists. No, no, what have I done? How dare I do this to them...? To my brother--to my little girl...