Loki X Reader One-Shots [SLOW UPDATES]

#41: Forever Falls Apart - Part III

Hello. I hope you're all doing fine-and if not, I wish you strength. These times are hard for everyone, I know (Future readers, it's March 2022), and they're even harder for some.

Anyway. This is the third and last part of "Forever Falls Apart." To be honest, I think this story (all three parts) is one of the best ones I've ever written. Might even be my favourite so far.

The trigger warnings are the same: severe mental illness, self-harming, suicide attempt, various references to alcoholism, violence and abuse. Also, talking about death quite a lot.

I hope you like this one, and the entire story in general because I've poured my soul into it.

Published on March 2022

...

While he was at work the following days, Loki kept thinking of Linus with a sense of worry rather than sadness. "I love you." Did he, really? Did Linus really love him? Because, if he did, then their breakup must've hurt him damn much, and only the possibility of it added to Loki's guilt. He couldn't leave him without an apology.

With that in mind, he drove to Linus' place after work, but the moment he arrived, he was petrified. What if Linus didn't want to listen? What if Loki made everything worse? Just do this, he thought to himself as he paced back and forth in front of the door. You have to. You both need closure.

He stopped and looked at the door, and then he took a deep breath as his finger reached out for the doorbell button, but then he pulled it away. Oh, come on. What are you so afraid of? You're a god! After a few more moments of hesitation, he drew one more deep breath and finally rang the doorbell.

The door opened--but not fully--and his eyes locked on those familiar brown orbs of Linus. He remembered how bright they always looked, and his heart sank when he saw how dark they seemed now. Damn, Linus looked tired--Loki didn't remember having seen him so worn-out ever before. His stomach turned to knots.

"Linus-"

"I don't want to hear it," the man cut him short and attempted to close the door, but Loki stopped him by practically throwing himself onto it.

"Wait!" he cried out. "Just hear me out; I'm not here to try to win you back or beg for forgiveness. I want to apologise." Linus let out a sigh, opened the door wide, and leaned his shoulder against the casing, folding his arms across his chest. When he said nothing, Loki carried on. "I'm sorry. I do love you, just not this way. What happened has been on my mind since you left that night, and I truly am sorry. Part of me wishes I could control my emotions, but I cannot."

"Part of you?"

"There's that other cowardly part that is stuck in the past, afraid to move on because it doesn't want to forget."

"Loki, you..." Linus started saying, "you don't forget--you just move on. You don't leave those whom you love behind--you just let go of the pain."

"What if guilt doesn't let you send the pain away?"

"Guilt? But Y/N's death was not your fault-"

"I didn't manage to convince Fury not to send her to that mission," Loki cut Linus short. "I should have. And she was weakened because she had born my child. It was my duty to have her back, but when I had to, I didn't."

"Loki, none of this was your fault. You couldn't have known." He put his arms on Loki's shoulders. "Look at me; you tried. You did everything a good spouse would do, but sometimes you just can't save everyone--even if that means you'll lose the ones you love the most."