Loki X Reader One-Shots [SLOW UPDATES]

#54: The Prettiest Star

Hello! I know it's been a while, but I REALLY  just had too little time and too little inspiration. But here I am, with a new story for all of you, and especially for the person who requested this piece (who preferred to remain anonymous).

Literally, I was stuck while writing it for months and then finished it in two days. It's wild how inspiration and the lack of it work lol.

Anyways, a trigger warning for depression/depressive thoughts applies to this chapter, so please proceed with caution.

I hope you like this. ♥

...

Some mornings, my body feels too heavy, and I can't get myself out of bed.

Y/N looked down at the sentence she had written in her notebook a few moments ago, and her shoulders slumped. In the background, the soft melody of the music she had put on was interrupted by the constant noise of car engines as the vehicles went by and the occasional chatter of people who walked too close to her window. Too bad she lived along an avenue — you couldn't even listen to music without being bothered and distracted during the rush hour. She continued writing.

So many days go by with an invisible arrow plucked through my chest, an arrow with origins unknown even to me and yet with pain so strong that I cannot hide.

She sniffled, and her grip on her pen became loose. Should she really be writing all this? In her head, all these thoughts were much less easily accessible to others — even to Loki, her partner, who had a profound knowledge of the mystic arts and could probably see into her head if he tried. But on paper? Oh, if she forgot to hide the notebook one time and Loki found it, then every little secret she had written down, every dirty, guilty word, would become known to him, and she wouldn't be able to take it back.

But, well, she had to do something with all these thoughts. Disclosing them to someone was out of the question, and keeping them inside was driving her insane, so what other choice did she have? Carefulness was the key; if she were careful, no one would ever find her little notebook, and hopefully, she would manage to conceal the magnitude of her grief until it was gone — in other words, she would follow the 'fake it till you make it' rule.

Her thoughts went back to Loki, and she held her pen firmly again.

Oh, all you give me, my love — all the care and affection and support — are so dear to me, and yet my heart feels weak, and I'm still sad and lonely and cannot help it. And when I think about it, I feel I might be ungrateful, and that the universe will punish me by taking you away; for it is very kind to let me have you, and to let me savour your love, but my heart wants more—

The sound of the front door creaking open startled Y/N, and the pen slipped off her fingers and rolled to the floor. She picked it up in a rush, closed the notebook and hurried to the bedroom.

"Y/N?" Loki's voice echoed in the hall as he pushed the door, and the lock clicked as he closed it.

"I'm here!" she called out as she bowed down next to the bed.

Loki's steps echoed in the hallway. Y/N placed the notebook on the floor beside her and used both hands to lift the edge of the mattress, and then, putting her leg under it so that she could support it on her knee, she leaned and picked the notebook up, placed it on the slats and removed her leg, letting the mattress drop into place. Loki entered the room as she fixed the covers.

"Hey babe," she murmured with a smile, trying not to look down at the bed.

There was a small twitch on Loki's face, and Y/N remembered his dislike for that particular pet name. Of course. She never used that pet name. What had gotten into her? She knew he didn't like it. Stupid, stupid, stupid...