Loki X Reader One-Shots [SLOW UPDATES]

#17: It's A Hard Life - Part III

(adding "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen at the top of the chapter because I can)

So, here's the third and last part of "It's A Hard Life".

I'm so sorry for taking me so long, these months were crazy for me...

Trigger warnings are the same: blackmailing, death threats, rape/ sexual assault, self-harming, mention of suicide.

Note: As I said in the previous chapter, I apologise if Loki's interaction with Wanda, Bucky, Thor and Sam in this chapter feels strange to you in case you ship him with any of these characters --because, in this story, they're all platonic.

Also, this is quite big, about 28000 words, so you'll need some time.

I wish you enjoy this! ♥

Published on January 2020

...

Two weeks. For two long weeks, Loki's house was the car, his bed was Fred's, and everyone could see that he was falling apart. He used the compound's shower when everyone was gone, ate in cheap restaurants and curled himself in his car when Fred would leave him alone.

Life had become such a hard task. He couldn't look at a bladed weapon without thinking he could slice his wrists open, couldn't look out of a window without wondering if it was high enough to jump.

Sometimes, he went to the balcony of the compound's third floor and sat there -he occasionally brought his laptop to do some work there. That time he was standing still, staring into nothingness, his forearms leaned at the edge of the balcony.

"Nice view, huh?"

Loki shot a glare over his shoulder; Sam Wilson approached and stood beside him. Loki instinctively quailed a little and avoided eye contact.

"Yeah", he mumbled then silently, "But I was actually wondering how much time falling from here and cracking my skull open would take".

"Umm... Are you okay?"

"No, by all means".

"What's going on?"

"It's called 'suicidal thoughts'".

"I mean in general", Sam clarified, looking at Loki as though he feared he would jump from the edge of the balcony at any second -which was a valid fear because it was what Loki was thinking.

"I thought everyone knew", Loki whispered, gazing downwards.

"Yeah, I know the stuff about you and Y/N. But something was going on before that, and it's still in progress, isn't it?"

Loki sighed as he began picking at his hands.

"You could say that all the shit happening to me right now is in the same trash bag".

"What-"

"Let it be, Sam", Loki cut him off and turned around, heading to the French door, "No one can do anything to fix it".

Sam followed him inside the building.

"Are you sure you don't have a mental illness or something?"

"Oh, I'm sure I do", Loki replied calmly.

"You need help", Wilson consulted him, catching up with him.

"I need a Xanax, and I'm gonna have it", Loki replied and walked past his co-worker.

Sam Wilson stopped walking and pressed his lips together as the God of Mischief was moving away. He's got issues.

Loki entered the office. A glance at Fred was enough to remind him of the previous night. He had fainted. And Fred had fucked him while he was unconscious. And it was the second time. In the week.