Shadows of Tomorrow

Chapter 24 - A Lost Padawan

"I should be doing something useful," Theseus declares flatly. It's been two weeks since Mortis and being stuck at the Temple this long is driving him insane. Well, mainly because he doesn't know when he'll be able to go back out on the front, but still. Plus, it feels so wrong for the others to be off fighting while he's stuck here. There's a war going on, and while he has his own problems to deal with, it feels irresponsible not to be participating.

"You are doing something useful," Obi-Wan reminds.

"Meditating all day? Necessary maybe, but boring. And it's not helping anyone except myself."

"Which, apparently, you've been heavily neglecting lately."

Great. This again. It's irritating even if it's not entirely wrong. "Well, I think two weeks has been long enough for me to at least start helping again."

Obi-Wan gives him an unimpressed look. "You're not ready to go back to the front lines yet. You're still very... unbalanced at the moment."

"Thanks," Theseus mutters.

"It was an observation," he replies. "You're still very distracted, and I don't want things to get as far as they did on Mortis." In other words, he's scared and being a stubborn idiot and refusing to admit it, not that Theseus will call him out on it. He can't blame him anyway.

"They won't," he promises. "I've figured out the worst of it."

"I've been too focused on the war this entire time," Obi-Wan argues, and Theseus suddenly gets the feeling he's about to say is making him feel uncomfortable. "I haven't been giving you the attention I should have." Theseus can't entirely deny that, but is a very, very strange conversation to be having with his master. They don't talk about things like this. They just don't. Obi-Wan avoids anything emotional like the plague, and Theseus prefers never to mention it unless it's absolutely necessary, thank you very much.

"Well, maybe?" he concedes reluctantly. It's difficult to talk about, but it's the truth, and he knows lies will only serve to worsen the situation. Nothing will be resolved if they don't talk truthfully, as much as he would like to avoid it.

Obi-Wan is quiet for a long moment, expression solemn. "I don't want that to happen again," he says finally, "So that's why I think you should stay at the Temple right now. I don't think you're ready to handle being on the front yet."

"I understand," he agrees quietly. He's certain he's ready, but it's his master who has the final say in the matter. Given what happened and how they nearly lost one another, Theseus isn't surprised of how overprotective his master is being. It's almost welcome, if he's being honest. However irritating, it's a reminder that he actually cares, which is welcome after what happened. "Still, I want to help somehow."

"Well, you could help with 212th, if you don't take time off your studies," suggests Obi-Wan after a moment of consideration.

Theseus perks up. "Really?

"Don't get carried away," Obi-Wan warns with the hint of a smile, "And I'll be going on another mission. I had to tell you in case I don't come back."

His heart skips a beat, and he jumps up, stepping towards his master. "No. Don't say that. You have to." The thought of his master dying is absolutely unthinkable. He can't... leave. Theseus has lost many friends before, but never – never someone who's like his family.

"It's one of the most dangerous missions," Obi-Wan says quietly, "I need you to know it's a possibility."

He swallows hard. No, he can't think about this. "You'll come back like you always do," he insists, not sure who he's trying to convince more.