Shadows of Tomorrow

Chapter 58 - Vizma

He can't say when the change happened, but it was not long after their wedding that he realized he's been automatically going by the name Marr. It feels right. Theseus is... a part of his past, now. It hurts all the time, but Bo, Anastasia, Satine, Korkie, Ursa, Sabine... everyone in his newfound Mandalorian family gives him something else to look to, another place to belong. It's strange how he wanted this for so long, and now he's getting it despite long having believed it impossible.

Nightmares still haunt him. When he closes his eyes, he'll still see the boys – 212th and 501st, mainly – falling around him. Sometimes his master or his mother, or Anakin and Ahsoka. He'll see fire and smoke and crashing ships, and the destroyed landscapes of so many planets he fought on, the names of which he often no longer remembers. And of course, he'll see himself and Ahsoka being chased by the clones and see the faces of those long gone. There are brief moments he wishes he'd never wake up, because he could be there with his family, but that would be selfish. He has another, and though it can't and won't replace the one he used to have in any form, he loves them all the same.

Theseus is the past, part of his past, now. Maybe, someday, it'll be time for him to retake the role of a Jedi, but he turned his back on their teachings to find his own path in the galaxy, and it led him home. Maybe Mandalore always has been home, and he never knew.

Sometimes, he'll look to the stars and wonder where Rex and Ahsoka are. If they're okay. Wonders what happened to Maul, if he's still alive and if he'll come back to haunt them. Wonders what happened on Utapau to Obi-Wan, if he survived when Cody turned on him, and if Cody survived it. He wonders if Anakin is still alive, or if he died at the Temple. Wonders if Master Yoda and Windu and the other Council members were able to escape it if he and Ahsoka could.

It comes and goes, Marr supposes, but he knows that despite the chaos he was surrounded by in the Clone Wars, it will forever remain in his mind as the best part of his life, and he can only wish he'd taken better advantage of it.

Something feels different about Bo. She acts the same, but Marr notices a very subtle shift in her Force presence. He didn't think anything of it – assumed it's just that she was happier now that they were married, because he could say the same – until one day.

"Marr," she says, breathlessly, a mix of fear, excitement, wariness, and too many other things to name clear on her face and in the Force. "I'm pregnant."

All his thoughts screech to a halt. Marr knew the possibility of having a child was high, and he wants to, because it's important to all Mandalorians. Family, children are important. That doesn't mean he's ready to be a father yet. He has no idea what to do or how to do it, or what he's supposed to do. He never had parents – not really – and he never had experience with taking care of children. Ahsoka did, and now he wishes he had, too.

He has no idea what to do, or how to react.

But. He's going to have a child. He's never taken care of other children before, but he's going to have a child. A child of his own flesh and blood, and... It's thrilling and terrifying at once, because they only have one chance at this, to do it right. It doesn't help how Theseus has no idea what to do, because he had a mother, but they were Jedi which changed things, so he doesn't know what a family is supposed to be like. He doesn't think Bo had parents, either. He never asked. It's not something they talk about. All he knows is that his father took care of her from when she was young.

"That's –" He doesn't know what to say. It's what he's always wanted but at the same time, he doesn't know that he's ready, either. "I... don't know what to say." Okay, that was probably the stupidest reaction he could have. "I can't believe – We're going to be parents."