Shadows of Tomorrow

Chapter 43 - Crisis at the Heart

Something is wrong. Theseus isn't sure what it is, but he's been sensing Anakin's turbulent emotions for a while now. At first, he thought it might just be him thinking about Ahsoka again, but now he's beginning to get the feeling that something else is also going on.

All Theseus does know is that Obi-Wan went to talk to Anakin about something, and now if anything, he seems to be feeling worse than before... not as if that's uncommon. He needs to go see what's wrong. It could just as well be about Ahsoka, again. They try not to speak of her, because it hurts too much – just as the loss of his parents hurts too much. When will he stop losing? It's a fear he's always had, since Vraz died, but now... Now it feels more real.

Day by day, as the war goes by, Theseus knows the dangers his friends, his family are in. Any day, they could die, they could leave. He could never see them again, never know if they're alright, so he clings to what bits he has left, engraving whatever memories and moments he can grasp, forever into his mind, so at least he can remember. Even if they're gone, if he's still here, he can do what he can; he can remember them.

What more is left, except that?

And he wonders, really wonders, if he will be the one to fall, someday, and what would happen then? Would Obi-Wan shrug it off like a good Jedi, or would he mourn? Would the boys move on without looking back? What would Anakin do?

He never worried about these things, not so much, when Ahsoka was here. It feels like she took a part of him with her, and it hurts every time to step into the Council chambers and not see his mother.

The Council, who he is losing faith in more and more by the day. He's become quite thoroughly disillusioned with the Order, with their ability to maintain peace and order as they claim to.

Theseus knocks on Anakin's door, waiting for the mumbled response on the other side to enter. The Knight is tinkering with some sort of machine, likely a very unnecessary endeavor at this time. "What're you doing?" Theseus asks, approaching him.

Anakin waves a hand in the air, gesturing for him to come closer. "I thought you were drowning in classes?" he asks.

"Yeah, but I needed a bit of... break time. How are you holding up?"

"Fine," Anakin replies automatically.

"Don't even try to lie," Theseus objects, "I can sense it, you know."

On second thought, maybe that wasn't a good idea. Anakin tenses instantly. "Then why ask?"

"It's an icebreaker," he offers, "And I was wondering if something happened. I know Obi-Wan talked to you not long ago." Honestly, Theseus is surprised Anakin is at the Temple. Since Ahsoka left, he normally is hanging out with the clones or at the Senate, no questions asked.

Anakin sighs, setting down his tools. "It's nothing, really."

"You don't get worked up for no reason, Anakin."

"Senator Amidala is... working with an old friend of hers, who also happens to be a traitor to the Republic," he answers finally.

"You're worried for her?"

"Last time, he nearly killed her," Anakin says flatly, glaring at the floor. The Senator might be Anakin's friend, but... he senses something more than the normal concern. It's strange, because if he didn't know better, he'd say Anakin feels responsible for her. It reminds him of how he felt about Ahsoka, but that doesn't make logical sense.

"You don't need to feel responsible for her," Theseus tries slowly. "She's your friend, not..."

"Sometimes, I wish I didn't," Anakin mutters, "But I do. I can't help it."