Shadows of Tomorrow

Chapter 42 - A Rising Darkness

Author's Note: Everything in this chapter has been the plan from the beginning. :):):)

~ Amina Gila

The sound of rain hitting the window finally wakes Theseus. No, he's not ready to get up, not ready to face the day yet. He wants to pretend yesterday was nothing but a horrible nightmare, but in the end, none of that will change anything. Whether he gets up now or ten minutes from now, it will change nothing.

A sigh escaping him, Theseus slowly sits up on the couch in the living room of Anakin's apartment. The day might be just beginning, but he's already so worn out that he doesn't want to move or do anything.

Not that he's going to realistically have the luxury of that. He's been in the healer's wing for days, and Obi-Wan and the 212th definitely need his help. He finally drags himself off the couch, heading in to the 'fresher. By the time he's out, Anakin is sitting listlessly on the couch, staring almost blankly at the wall.

Theseus heads back to the couch, taking a seat next to him. The silence, other than the rain outside, feels practically deafening, but he isn't sure what to say. He's not going to ask him if he's alright. Neither of them are, and there's no point pretending otherwise.

"Want to eat anything?" Theseus suggests finally.

Anakin shakes his head.

"Me neither."

Silence falls over them again, and Theseus can only try to take comfort in Anakin's presence. At least he's one person he hasn't lost. Yet. He's lost so much in the past month.

"I wanted to thank you," Anakin says, finally. "For everything you did for me, and for... her."

"It's what friends do," Theseus replies. He's well aware of how they both need to get moving, but they're equally exhausted from the past couple days. And besides, he really thinks they could use a break. Ahsoka's always been here, for nearly as long as Theseus was Obi-Wan's padawan, and... he has no idea how to start without her.

He doesn't know how long they've been sitting there before Obi-Wan enters. Even if he hadn't been nearly as involved as the others, he seems unusually subdued. "I'm sorry," he says at last.

"I know." Anakin stands, avoiding his gaze.

"You told us to let the Senate decide her fate," Theseus says, bitterly. It's not Obi-Wan's fault and he knows it. It's unfair to hold him accountable for it, but... He's angry and hurt, and he's lashing out, even if he ought not to.

"I thought they would look into it more."

"Like the Council did?" Anakin snaps.

Surprisingly, Obi-Wan doesn't argue. "The Senate requested she be handed over," he replies, "Refusing would have been seen as opposition, and we assumed that she would receive an impartial trial regardless."

"I heard," Anakin replies, flatly. "It – I should go. I don't suppose Rex heard what happened yet."

Somehow, Theseus hadn't even thought about it yet. The clones don't know she left, even if they've heard everything else, and breaking the news to them will be the hardest part.

Anakin slips past them, heading out, leaving the two of them standing in silence. It feels almost uncomfortable, even if it ought not to be.

"We have things to attend to, padawan," Obi-Wan speaks finally, though the tone is more gentle than normal.

Theseus nods, silently following his master out the door.

***

Every time he turns around it's like he's expecting to see Ahsoka suddenly walk up, to tell him that she's coming back, or maybe that he imagined the previous evening entirely and she never left at all. Almost nothing he's ever felt has hurt worse than this, then the fact that his little sister, his daughter even, is gone, that he's never going to see her again. That she chose to walk away. Anakin knows nothing will ever be the same again, not now. He doesn't even know how to keep moving. It feels like time should stop, with how much everything has fallen apart, but of course, it won't.