Matthew Espinosa Imagines

Him.

^Matt and Crawford are my all time fav boys so them in one pic is 😍🙌🏻

As I lay in bed, I think. Typical me.

I think about how nobody likes me and I always try too hard to fit in. Im starting to find myself and I am learning on how not to flaunt it. I act very outgoing, but inside I tremble with my self consciousness.

All I want is a guy who wants me for me. Sometimes I think there is nobody out there who is going to like me. I constantly receive compliments but I never take them to heart.

I dont feel beautiful.

I have my eye on someone at school. I really like him but I try to tame it down. My insides bubble when I see him, yet I panic and avoid any contact when we come close. I try not to think about it too much, as I know there is no chance whatsoever.

But a girl has gotta beleive right?

Wrong.

That only happens in fairy tales. The girl is in trouble, the guy comes to save her. Turns out shes a princess and they live happily ever after.

Fairytales.

I find myself so frustrating at times. I am on the fence about so many things. There are so many things I want to achieve but I always beat myself down. I tell myself that there is no point. I cant look like her. When I do get motivation, it slips out of my hands faster than water.

One day I decided to try and engage in small talk with the guy I like. Im pretty sure I looked like a desperate idiot. Hes probably got his eye on another girl. Why would I think that he would ever go for me.

Matthew. Thats his name. Thats the guy I like. Hes so perfect. Blonde hair that he keeps off to one side, or short and tidy. He has the best smile. His presence just makes me happy.

On my way to English class, I realized that I forgot my textbook. I decide to go without it. Chances are, we wont need it. I sit down in my regular embarrassing spot right at the front. By myself. 20 minutes into the class the teacher asks us to get out our textbooks.

I reluctantly raise my hand and ask if I can get it from my locker. After a demoralizing lecture, she let me go. I hang my head as I stumble lazily out the door. I walk through the hallways, avoiding eye contact with the few other people in the halls. I rush to my locker.

37-02-15

I twirl the blue circular lock around in the sequence of memorized digits. It opens with a tug and a small *click*. I shuffle around in my locker and pull out my thin red English textbook. I head back to class. On the way back, I notice Matt walking in the opposite direction as me, heading my way. I straighten up and try to look more confident.

Matt comes closer to me. He nods with his head and calls my name. "Eh! Emily!" I blush furiously. He smiles and I nearly faint at the thought of what is happening.

He waps his arms around my torso. I get super hot and jittery. He pushes me up against the wall and puts his hands against the wall on either side of me. He looks into my eyes and says:
"Emily, I've wanted to do this for a long time."

He glances both ways to make sure the coast is clear. Before I can fully comprehend what is happening, he places his lips on mine. I am stunned at first, caught off guard. I kiss back, and he goes a little deeper. I allow it, but break away after a couple seconds. Our faces are still centimetres apart, and I can feel his warm breath. I smile and give him a small peck back.
"I have to go back to class" i say sheepishly.
"I understand" Matt replies with a kind smile. "Talk to you later then?"
I nod my head in agreement. I walk back down the hallway towards my class. I hold my head a bit higher this time.
When I walk in, the teacher has her arms crossed.
"What took you so long Emily?" She says sternly.
I sit down at my desk and smile.
"Nothing"