Chapter Forty-Four

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Ryder excitedly watched Anastasia’s reaction as she prepared breakfast while ignoring him completely. Did the stunt he pulled last night on her have the desired effect? Was she jealous now? 

“I’ll just check what they’re making for breakfast,” said Ryder, making Anastasia’s dad and grandpa chuckle knowingly. He got up and stride purposefully towards the kitchen. Granny Daisy smiled up seeing him. 

“I’ll just come in a minute,” said granny, going to the washroom. Ryder excitedly glanced at Anastasia who tried hard to concentrate on her task at hand but he could see that she was pointedly ignoring him. He was sure by now that she was jealous of Hailey just as he had expected her to be. It only meant one thing, that she still had feelings for him. 

“Something’s burning, don’t you think so?” asked Ryder with a chuckle. 

“Yeah, your organ, maybe,” said Anastasia with a scowl. Ryder was taken aback by her bold retort but then he couldn’t stop the laughter that broke out on his lips.

“You seem to be having sleepless nights dreaming about it,” he said, standing beside her, his arm brushing with hers, making his whole body come alive with excitement. 

“Huh, you wish! I was only thinking about your useless girlfriend! It seems like she couldn’t even please you last night that you had to come here so early in the morning,” she scoffed angrily as she made the hash browns for breakfast. Ryder chuckled and leaned in closer to whisper in her ears.

“I can feel the jealousy burning inside you, Annie,” said Ryder.

“I’m not jealous,” protested Anastasia. 

“Oh yes, you are! Well, I have a remedy for that! Why don’t you try to please me instead?” asked Ryder, his eyes dancing with merriment. Anastasia looked up with shock but found his mesmerizing blue eyes just inches away from hers. 

“I don’t do flings, Ryder,” she told him. 

“So I am Ryder to you now. It’s really sad to see you forget the nickname that you had given me,” he said in a husky tone, his blue eyes drawing her in. 

Anastasia blinked and looked away, turning to her frying pan. “I haven’t forgotten. You’re not mine anymore,” she told him. 

“Anymore? Was I ever yours Annie? I thought I am the only one wanting a relationship with you. Do you really feel anything for me at all? But you know what? I’m tired, I’m tired of waiting for you to respond to me. I’m tired of waiting for you to accept my calls. I’m tired of being cast away like the least important part of your life,” said Ryder, the mirth and happiness gone from his voice. 

Anastasia was stunned by his speech. Did he really feel that way about her? Did he really feel that she didn’t care at all about him? 

“I..,” she started, ready to defend herself and point out that he wasn’t right at all in his conclusions. It wasn’t that she didn’t care. She still loved him but her sense of obligations didn’t allow her to give Ryder much hope. If she would have been Bianca and David Farrell’s biological child, maybe she would have opted out of her duties just like Anson had but since the day she turned thirteen it had been drilled in her head that she was meant for something more. She was adopted to take over from Madame Slovene one day. It was the only way to pay off for everything that her foster parents had done for her. Therefore, she wasn’t in a position to encourage or give hope to Ryder. She tried her best to do that but Ryder still stuck on. She wasn’t happy in her situation but she was just doing her duty. 

“I just came to inform you that mom and Rihanna wants you to come home later. After lunch they’re going to aunt Charlotte’s boutique for the wedding dresses,” said Ryder, walking out of the kitchen without waiting for her response. Anastasia sighed, her eyes filling up with tears. She wanted to say a lot. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him. She wanted to leave everything and just stay back here in Fordsville forever. If only she could! 

She quietly served breakfast, missing Ryder immensely as he had left abruptly without waiting to eat the breakfast she had been making for him. 

After lunch, she accompanied Rihanna and Raine, who was Renée’ cousin and aunt Charlotte’s daughter, to the boutique. Strangely, Ryder was nowhere around and Anastasia’s eyes looked for him everywhere. “Ryder’s gone to work, if you’re looking for him,” said Rihanna with a knowing smile as she stopped the car at Wildcreek Ranch after returning from the boutique. 

“Oh, what about Renée and Sawyer?” Asked Anastasia. She hadn’t been able to take her best friend’s call earlier and had been a little upset with Ryder to call her back. 

“They’ve gone out on a date,” said Rihanna. 

Anastasia went home as there was nothing else to do. With the wedding scheduled the next day, the decorations were complete and all the preparations were already done. The whole day, she didn’t see Ryder. Madame Slovene and Freya had been calling her non-stop with one problem or the other to be dealt with. Anastasia didn’t get a moment of respite with one meeting or conference or the other. She was stuck to her mobile and laptop the whole day.

The next day, Anastasia went to Wildcreek Ranch for Renée’s wedding. Ryder seemed to ignore her and it saddened her more. Could she talk to Madame Slovene and ask her to employ people to manage her business and release her from it all? The whole time that she helped Renée prepare herself for the wedding, she thought this over and over in her mind. Could she talk this out with Ryder? She didn’t want to break her promise to her mom. It was her dying wish and she couldn’t be happy breaking that. 

Indecisive and hurting, she tried to catch Ryder’s eye during the wedding ceremony but he didn’t even look at her. Anastasia started having second thoughts by now. Was he seriously thinking of moving on and marrying Hailey instead?

The reception party started and everyone was enjoying but Anastasia just put on a fake smile and played with her fork at the table. Although the food was great, she just couldn’t enjoy it anymore. Ryder's behavior was making her very upset. She had been able to go ahead with the toasts, with her speech and all her duties as Renée’s maid of honor. The first dance went beautifully and she couldn’t help but wish that it was she who was dancing with Ryder instead. She sighed and walked over to Rihanna to inform her that she was leaving since Renée was busy with Sawyer. 

“Are you leaving already?” asked Rihanna with disbelief.

“Yeah, I’ve got a headache. Ren's busy so tell her that I’ll catch up with her later,” said Anastasia. 

“Stay till the cake cutting, Ana,” said Rihanna but Anastasia’s throat was choked with pain and her heart was breaking at Ryder’s behavior. There was no doubt that he loved her. She couldn’t be selfish enough to ask him to relocate to LA and leave his family because of her. It was his decision actually, something that he needed to sort out if he truly loved her. Her hands were tied, she couldn’t break the promise that she gave her mom.

“I can’t, I need to go,” she whispered. 

“Okay, take care then. I’ll ask Ryder to drop you home,” said Rihanna.

“No, no, don’t disturb him. I have grandpa's car with me,” said Anastasia. “See you later,” she said, walking towards the main entrance. However she couldn’t go far when Ryder caught her hand. 

“Where are you going?” he asked gruffly.

“Home,” she told him, avoiding his eyes. His grip tightened around her hand as if he wasn’t in the mood to let her leave yet. 

“Why so soon? The wedding isn’t over yet,” he said, staring at her longingly. She looked so beautiful in the lavender gown she wore. He had been trying to restrain himself all day not wanting to dump his feelings upon him but seeing her leave made him come to his senses. He didn’t want he to go back to LA so soon. 

“It has for me, leave my hand, Blue,” she said, trying to extract her hand from his hold. After ignoring her for the last one and hand days, did he suddenly realize that she existed? 

Ryder noted what she called him and his heart skipped a beat or two with excitement. “No, I want to dance with you,” he said gruffly, pulling her along to the dance floor. 

“Leave me alone, Blue. I’m sure you’re busy. I’m sure you don’t want me around. I’m tired of waiting for you to look at me. I’m tired of waiting for you to talk to me. I came here only for you but maybe you don’t want me anymore. I'll go back tonight,” she said, making him stop dead in his tracks and gape at her. 

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