Unify Series #3: Verdicts of Yesterday

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She isn't serious with that, right? Why would she write that weird message on the back of Jax's notebook? I mean, it is his! It belongs to the kid so why not mind her own business? Pero sa kaniya ba talaga galing 'yon? I mean, her name is already written there but I will not fully believe if she will not confirm it herself.

Chq, minamahal ka kahit masakit na.

That line. Her last line. Love, huh? Did she love me? Why is that? May karelasyon siya at hindi ako ang isang klase ng taong mag-t-take ng risk at patulan ang taong may nagmamay-ari naman na. Wala rin naman akong balak na pumasok sa isang relasyon.

You know that feeling that you like someone — you want their attention but you don't want to be committed? It was just that you are loving the thrill.

My feelings for her lasts for years. Yeah, that sounds crazy. It was like I am crazy in love. But I realized that only her attention is what I am craving for. Gusto ko siya pero kung magugustuhan niya ako pabalik, move on na ako at sa iba naman. That is confusing yet satisfying. Ewan ko ba.

Kaya hindi ko sinasabi kung sino ang mga nagugustuhan ko, e. Hindi rin ako umaamin dahil alam ko namang hahantong lang sa ganitong sitwasyon. Na mawawalan ako ng interes at sa iba na naman mapupunta ang aking atensyon.

I sighed heavily. It was already midnight and I can't fucking sleep. I already tried so many weird sleeping position but still, the thought about that message from Chq which I am not sure if it was actually from her didn't leave my freaking mind. I think it is already the right time to uncrush her. Wala, e. Halata naman doon sa message na gusto niya rin ako.

I don't want to stick to one person.

I get my phone and opened my Instagram inbox. Nabigla pa ako nang makitang online si Wax. Hindi pa siya natutulog? Gago. Akala ko ba susunduin niya ako rito mamaya sa six? Pero ala una pa naman ng umaga ngayon.

I then decided to chat him to see if he is still really up.

You still up?

Tulog na ako
Teka gising ka pa?

Nakahimbing

Bakit gising ka pa hoy?!
Matulog ka na nga

Gising ka rin naman kaya
pagalitan mo sarili mo

Hindi. Nag-aaral kasi ako

Wow tama behavior

Seryoso,
bakit gising ka pa?

I can't sleep

Bakit?

Hate me but it is because
of Chq

Wew what about her

Usap na tayo bukas
inaantok na ako bye

Sige goodnight HAHA sleep well

You too

Don't dream about me, woman

As you wish

Just like what I said, I forced myself to sleep and good thing it works. Sobrang himbing ng tulog ko at nainis pa dahil sobrang lamig ng panahon. Binalot ko ang sarili ko ng dalawang kumot at nagpatuloy sa pagtulog. Nagising ako dahil sa wisik ng tubig sa aking mukha. Nanlaki pa ang mga mata ko dahil sobrang lamig tapos tubig pa ang bubungad sa akin?