Unify Series #3: Verdicts of Yesterday

40

"Nah, I'm done."

"Hey, you can't just let her be, okay?" ani Gin na itinaas pa ang dalawang kamay, pinipigilan ako sa gusto ko. "The only right thing to do other than letting this over is to ask her side. We don't know the reason behind those image."

"I don't want to ask her," I muttered with a sigh. "I don't even know how to talk to her, how to face her."

"Alright. I will just ask her by myself. Just stay still and I got your back."

"Gin." Bumagsak ang balikat ko. "Let's just don't bother her. She doesn't even care if I am hurt or not."

"How do you say?"

I hissed. "If she care about me, then she should have already enlighten me about it. Look, two days after that post, she still did not sent me a message. Goddamned that Amara. Fuck her."

"Everything has a reason —"

"Shut that. I don't care."

"Oh, really?" Sarkastiko niya akong tinignan. Even if we're just facing screen to screen, I could feel her annoyance towards me. "If you want to make things up, then you should set aside your damn ego and talk to her. Unless, you don't want her anymore."

I bit my lower lip. "I am just waiting for her to willingly explain everything."

"Then what if she is also waiting for you to chat her?"

"The hell is that!" asik ko. "Waiting? She already has a new woman! If she cares, worry about me, then she should have talk to me already. This is so fucking annoying! Bye! I will turn this off now!"

Hindi ko na nasundan ang sasabihin niya dahil pinatay ko na ang tawag. She called me again but I declined it. Inis akong tumayo mula sa kama ko at naglakad palabas. I even saw Jax raising his brows at me, looking at my poker yet annoyed expression. Nilampasan ko lamang ito saka ako nagtungo sa kusina at kumuha ng alak. Lumabas ako pagkatapos at umupo sa buhanginan, hinaharap ang dagat na mahinang umaalon.

I then started to drink, staring at nowhere. It was like I am lost of myself and I cannot find the "me" anymore because I don't want to be found. Haluhalo'ng emosyon ang nararamdaman ko kung kaya't ramdam na ramdam ko ang bigat sa aking dibdib.

"Ate."

Hindi ko nilingon si Jax. Tumayo siya sa tabi ko at tumitig din sa dalampasigan. "Why are you here? Get back inside. Gabi na."

"You talking to yourself?"

"No, to someone who's dumb."

"What happened? Hindi ka pa tapos sa pag-d-drama mo? Aren't you tired of it?"

Hindi ako nagsalita at tumungab na lamang sa bote ng alak. This kid, really.

"Nakasasawa na, ah. I hope you get tired of being hurt."

"Pagod ka na bang makasaksi ng tao sa paligid mo na sobrang drama? OA ba masiyado?"

"Yeah, I can't bear with it. I am tired to see people hurting."

I chuckled. "Then you should talk to your older sister. Tell her that she should stop living because she sucks."

"Anong ginawa ni Ate Amanda sa 'yo?"

"None of your business."

"Hindi na ako bata."

"Oh, really? Find it yourself. I am tired storytelling to you guys the pain I am holding. Nakapapagod na, ah."

Hindi nakaimik si Jax. Hanggang sa maubos ko ang bote ng alak, tahimik kami. Wala akong kahit ni isang salita man lang na pinakawalan. Kung noong nakaraan, madaldal ako sa tuwing nalalasing, iba na ngayon. I feel like being numb and mute. It was like I can live without uttering a word for the lifetime.