Unify Series #3: Verdicts of Yesterday

37

"Hey, woman. Get up."

Tinapik-tapik ko ang pisngi ni Amara habang nakahimbing ito. She opened her eyes to look at me with shot brows. "Why?" paos ang boses na tanong niya. Bumangon naman siya at inaantok akong tinignan. I can't blame her for being this sleepy, katutulog lang niya dahil galing siya sa mahabang byahe.

Nagpakawala ako ng isang banayad na hininga at inabot sa kaniya ang phone niya. "There is a text. Hindi sadyang nabasa ko."

"Hmm?" Inabot niya iyon at tinignan. My lips then pursed before I looked away. Hindi ko maitatangging kinakabahan ako at nanginginig pa ang mga kamay. I just hid my hands behind my back for her not to see my shaky hands.

"Will you?" mahinang tanong ko, hindi siya tinitignan. I just hope that she will not. Vallentino's are telling Amara to get back to Canada and stay there for months — almost a year. The fuck is that.

Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at hinila ako palalapit sa kaniya. She then hugged me. "I am sleepy."

"Yeah, you will sleep. But will you go?"

"I will decide about it."

Nakagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi ko at mariin na pumikit. "Decide, huh? You have your business there, right? You will handle some of them so you have to be there."

"I can refuse it."

"Bakit?"

"I can't leave you, Nirene."

Hindi ako nagsalita at hinayaan na lang siyang yakapin ako hanggang sa makabalik siya sa pagkatutulog niya. I just sat beside her and stared at her beautiful face. She was like unbothered about that text from Vlianca.

Nang tumunog ang phone ko ay kaagad ko itong kinuha mula sa bulsa ko. It was Vlianca calling. Nice. "Hello?" Sinagot ko ang tawag at dahan-dahang tumayo. Tinignan ko muna si Amara bago ko napagpasyahang lumabas ng kwarto.

"Nirene, where is Amanda?"

Sinara ko ang pinto at sumandal dito. "She's sleeping."

"Have she read my text?"

I bit my thumb before I looked down at the floor. "Yeah, she did, we did."

"She should get ready. Mamaya na ang flight niya."

"She didn't agree yet."

"She don't have to."

Mahina akong nagpakawala ng malamyang tawa. "I guess she has no choice."

"Nirene, look. She has duties here. P'wede kang sumama sa kaniya kung ayaw n'yong iwan ang isa't isa."

Umiling naman ako at ngumiwi. "I can't, Vlianca."

"Alright, I understand. You can just visit each other."

"That has never been easy."

"It's your choice. Tell Amanda to prepare herself. Susunduin siya ni Clinton mamaya."

Tumango na lang ako bago niya ibaba ang tawag. Napailing naman ako at pumunta na lang sa kusina upang kumuha ng tubig. Umupo ako sa high chair at sumimsim sa baso. Pakiramdam ko, ang lalim ng iniisip ko pero hindi ko man lang mawari ang mga bagay na tumatakbo rito sa utak ko. It was like I was left out of words and I cannot focus to think of something.

Naramdaman ko ang pamumuo ng luha ko habang tahimik akong nakatingin sa baso ko. I just can't believe this. Inaasahan kong kailangang bumalik ni Amara sa Canada, pero hindi ko hinanda ang sarili ko kung kailan man.

Almost a year...

Fuck. Can I even bear with that?

"Hey."