Unify Series #3: Verdicts of Yesterday

45

The least thing I want is to see him.

I never seen my father for months and who would be happy after you hear that he's confined in the hospital for he'd heart attacked? When you expect that everything would be fine when you talk to him and make everything right, yet we still end up this way.

"Niae?" Isang babaeng kaedad ko ang sumalubong sa akin. I don't know her so I just forced a smile. "Ikaw 'yong anak ni Tito Briones, hindi ba? Pumunta ka ba rito upang bisitahin siya?"

Nagkatinginan kami ni Wax. Saka ako bahagyang tumango sa babae. Mas lalo namang lumapad ang ngiti nito.

"Hali kayo, ihahatid ko kayo sa kaniya," she said and lead the way. Sumunod naman kami ni Wax. "Nang tumawag ka kay ama ay umasa talaga si Tito sa presensya mo. Pero mukhang napaaga ho yata kayo? Paniguradong masisiyahan ang ama mo, Niae."

I smiled awkwardly, didn't know what to respond. But still, I managed to make a conversation. "Gusto ko nang makita si Dad, e. Hindi ko alam na ganito pala ang nangyari sa kaniya."

Napatango ito. "Ayaw niya ngang ipaalam sa iyo kasi baka makaabala pa raw, aba, e, hindi kami nakinig. Anak ka niya at dapat alam mo ang sitwasyon ng ama mo."

We were just listening to her while my heart is already pounding inside my chest so fast. I am nervous to face him... I am afraid. The way I treat him. I regret it. That must have been hard for him and I should have shown respect, at least.

Wala sa sarili kong hinawakan ang kamay ni Wax dahil nanghihina ako. Parang anong oras ay babagsak ako sa nagtitigasan at malamig na sahig. Natigilan siya sa ginawa ko, nabibigla ngunit nang mapansin ang itsura ko ay kumapit din siya pabalik nang mahigpit.

"Ayos na, Niae," he muttered. "Makikita mo na ang Dad mo."

I harshly bit my lower lip. "Kinakabahan ako..."

He gripped on my hand, enough to make me feel secured and safe. He is making me feel that I am not alone. That he is with me, no matter what. And I don't know how to express how grateful I am that he came to my life.

Hanggang sa tumigil kami sa harap ng isang pintuan, hindi na normal ang nararamdaman ko. Mas lalo lang yatang dumagundong ang kaba sa dibdib ko, e. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko kapag nakita ko na siya. Pero siguro, ang unang lalabas sa bibig ko ay ang salitang patawad.

I heaved a deep sigh as she opened the door. She entered first and opened it more for us to go inside. Hinila ko si Wax papasok, hawak pa rin namin ang kamay ng isa't isa. I then gasped because instead of looking at my father, my attention was automatically diverted to someone sitting on the sofa, elbow on the side and her jaw over her knuckles.

"Ah, pasensya na. Kararating lang kasi nila, e," sabi ng babae nang mapansin ang pagtingin ko sa sofa. She then wake her up, making me to blink. "Chq, gising ka muna riyan. May bisita."

As if she was sleeping, she opened her eyes and hissed. Nag-inat siya ng katawan at natigilan nang makita ako, kaming dalawa ni Wax. Kaagad akong tumingin kay Dad bago pa magtama ang paningin namin. Si Wax na mismo ang bumitaw sa kamay ko.

My father is asleep. But I see that he is fine. Mariin akong napalunok at napakurap. I then stood beside him, and reached his hand. He has grown... A lot. And I just wish he would stay forever. I wish he will never leave me at the end of the day. I have to feel his love. I still have to recognize him as my father.

Pinigilan ko ang panginginig ng tuhod ko. But then, I was too weak. That's Wax's cue, he noticed my trembling system. Lumapit siya sa akin at inalalayan akong makaupo sa upuan.

"I see an ideal Wax," Chq muttered, still on her seat. Hindi ko siya pinagtuunan ng pansin bagkus ay si Wax ang bumaling dito.

"Don't you mind? She just saw her father," sabi ni Wax, halatang nakangiwi. Napahalakhak naman si Chq at ramdam ko ang kaiibang tingin niya mula sa likuran ko.