Chapter 3

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    I froze...

    Why would she ask this. I know she has talked about Daniel, but I have never wanted to talk about mine. I mean I don't even know who they are.

    I was visibly tense and I think Alice caught sight of that. She placed her small wrinkled hand on my hand. I slowly looked up at her and stared at her face. She held that small smile again, and the sadness was evident in her eyes this time.

    "Dear I know you haven't talked to me about your soulmate, but I just want to know. I do worry about you. I worry that maybe your soulmate has been taken from this life too, just like my Daniel, and I wouldn't want that for you. You are so young and I just want to know if you have someone made just for you and at least let you know I am at least someone you can talk to about it."

    I wanted to tell her, but I couldn't. I do not want her to think weirdly of me or freak out. I do not even know if my soulmates would want me.

    If only she and my soulmates knew the real me...would they still want me?

    I slowly turned to Alice. She was waiting patiently but I could tell she was not trying to push. I slowly looked around the park, searching.

    "I want to tell you but...not here. Can we talk about some of it at home?" I didn't want to spill anything around ears that shouldn't hear. I want to be safe. I want Alice to be safe. I was shaking. Alice glanced down at my hands and grabbed them once again.

    "Yes dear. Let me go grab a newspaper and then we can head home. Do not worry so much Doe. Just breathe." She walked off toward the news stand.

    I couldn't breathe. My leg was bouncing frantically as I was sitting on the bench. My hands grabbed the underside of the bench on either side of my legs. I jerked my head around at every slightest noise I heard.

    Breathe Shadow...breathe... they aren't here.

    I tried to calm myself down but it wasn't working. I turned back quickly to see if Alice was done at the paper stand. I saw no sign of her. I kept looking around, seeing no sign of the small old woman in her favorite red sweater. I jumped and gripped the hand that tapped my shoulder, turning around.

    "Ouch Doe, it's just me." Alice chuckled and pulled her hand to her chest. I gasped and quickly took back her hand, examining it to make sure I hadn't hurt her.

    "Oh Alice. I am so sorry. Are you okay?" I looked at her brown eyes, pleading, hoping I didn't hurt the poor woman. I was just so scared.

    "You didn't hurt me. I'm alright. Let us go back to the apartment before you have a heart attack." She shot me a small smile and took my hand, leading me in the direction of the apartment. I stumbled a bit...catching up to Alice as the cold crisp air blew around us. My anxiety had not died down at all. I thought I had lost Alice. She wants to know about my soulmate, and that could still lead to more questions. Ones I probably cannot answer.

    We made it to our apartment building and pushed open the door. We shuffled up the steps and I let Alice lead the way to her door. She fished out her keys from her bag and fiddled with the lock. Once the door was open, we walked inside. Alice shrugged off her coat and put it on her coat rack. She set her paper on the couch and threw her shoes by the front door, then closed the door behind me and bolted all the locks. I made my way to the window bench she had and sat there, mentally trying to prepare myself on what I should say to her.

    I never disclosed to people about my potential love life, and honestly never anything personal about me. The less people knew the better. Alice grabbed some pillows and gave me one to sit on to make the bench more comfortable and she set hers in her rocking chair and sat on top of it. She looked at me, observing me. I didn't want to bring anything up. I really did not even know if I was going to tell her anything at all. I had never had anyone to tell. Truthfully, I did not want to spill anything and then they run away from me. I sighed and saw my reflection in the window. My face etched with worry. I turned back to Alice and relaxed as her face just seemed to tell me...it is okay dear.

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