quicksand (Dazai X Reader)

goodbye

"Hello, my name is María, I am new to the city, I have experience in baking from cakes to cookies and different pastries, I am a people's person and have great communication skills, I am actually a Psychologist, but my real passion is baking and making people feel comfortable and happy!"

I am great at being cheerful, having a smile on my face and being nice to people is something that I can do pretty great, can't say it's hypocritical, not all my smiles are fake and I do like making people happy, but sometimes I wonder how much I do it because I want to or just because I'm trained to.

The couple in front of me look at my resumé, in that I did lie quite a lot, since I am foreign I don't think they can fact check that so I just went with it during the interview, they look very nice, it would be a great place to work, maybe I can be happy here, secure, feel at home.

"How soon can you start?", the man called Hiroshi said with a soft smile on his face.

"As soon as you like", And that's how I got the job.

I started walking back "home", maybe I could get a small apartment later, my saved up money is getting spent rather quickly even though I have been living on water, instant coffee and soups.

Then I felt it, the shiver down my spine, the hairs of my neck standing up, and the beating of my heart ringing in my ears.

I am being followed

Calm down, you are prepared for this, you are from a place women disappear every day, you have scissors in your purse, take them out rather slow but not too slow, listen to the footsteps, find a store, any store and get it, why the fuck is there no damn store, fuck im lost, how many footsteps are there? Two sets, two people, two men. It's just you and your scissors.

As I tried to put my hand in my purse I heard footsteps coming quickly and a car pulled up. This is it.

One of them grabbed me from behind, hugging my waist and the other one opened the van. I had no time to think so I sank my hips down to the floor putting all my body weight while I lifted my arms up and tried to find the man's face with my hands. My father's voice echoed in my head.

"No matter what you have to do, you don't let them get you in a car, once they do that, it's over, so you do whatever, and I mean whatever you have to do, scratch, bite, kick, scream, but you come home to me."

I felt the man's hair in one of my hands and the other one found its way to his eyes, and I scratched and pulled with all my strength, i felt the nails on my hand come off, blood down my arms, not only mine, the screams of the man told me I was putting on a fight, as he let go off me a little a broke free and the other man in front of me with the door open revealed my down fall.

A girl, a child, no more than 12 years old was there, eyes so big I thought they would come out of the socket, bruises on her face and knees, she was so scared, she was already in the van, she wouldn't come home to her dad, so young, and I couldn't look away. Why does this have to happen? She probably hasn't even had her first kiss, she hasn't even had time to dream what she wants to be or wants to do, and I'm just...

A fuck up.

And so I made my decision.

I ran directly to the man in front of the van door and kicked him in the knee, took the girl out of the van, knowingly that the man behind me would grab me, and told the kid to run, and she did. I saw her run away while the doors of the van were closing, I think I could die in peace, I did something good. I do hope my dad can forgive me, i did exactly what he told me not to do, but I wanted to at least once in my life do something good, be the hero, live that fantasy, even if it costs me everything, I think I can live through that kid, she has time to do what i couldn't, so I guess this is goodbye. 

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Hi, this is a heavy chapter so be sure to take care of yourselves💓
Also the name is provisional, I am latina so you will also be, or you cant, but the protagonist's cultural background will be discussed later

I know the story is kind of slow but it will get better I promise!

Also Dazai is in the next one 😏

-M