quicksand (Dazai X Reader)

wine

I started walking down the street, there were a lot of people out, that made me nervous and calm at the same time. I have only walked this street alone once, and now it seemed more colorful, people talking, kids being loud, not that threatening.

I window shopped for a while and just kept walking and walking without going anywhere in particular. Then I saw a small pub on the end of the street, it looked kind of private and sketchy, but I have been in sketchier bars honestly.

It was a small bar, just a couple of tables and stool chairs on the counter. I made my way to one of the stools by the end of the bar.

As I was drinking my beer I kept thinking of my situation and how I got myself in it. I thought walking and having a drink would help me get things sorted out but I'm just confused.

Moments later a man entered the bar and walked to the counter, the people who were in the other stools stood up and left immediately.

'That's odd' I thought to myself but not making much fuss about it.

I felt the man look at me from the side of his eye, not turning his head to face me and I kinda did the same.

He was kind of short, about my height, probably just some centimeters taller than me, he had piercing blue-greyish eyes, and freckles on his face, his hair was long, strands of red brownish hair framing his handsome face.

He noticed me staring and raised an eyebrow, and I just raised one back. He stopped looking at me, I stopped looking at him. Damn these handsome men popping out of thin air when I can't think.

It was silent for a while, I was on my second beer but got bored of the taste and didn't have enough money for a fancy drink.

I heard a lighter flick beside me, the handsome ginger man with the hat was trying to light a cigarette but his fancy ass lighter was not cooperating.

"God fucking damn it" I heard him angry whisper.

"It's not fancy as yours but it works" I told him without turning to face him as I slid him my 1 dollar lighter I bought at the convenience store. I felt him turn to me, then at the lighter. He grabbed it and lit his cigarette.

"Thank you" he said, his voice was kind of deep but soft.

"You're welcome" I responded while looking at the same spot on the wall, watching the whiskey bottles in the shelves in front of me, for like an hour.

"Are you okay?" I heard him ask.

"Huh?" I answered confused, I was spacing out a lot and it was not the alcohol.

"I asked if you are okay. You've been staring at the same spot for like an hour" he said, while taking a sip of his wine glass that came from an expensive looking bottle, this man's whole attire looked expensive.

"I'm...fine I guess, I am not okay, but I am not you know, bad bad" I answered him truthfully as I sighed.

"What about you?" I asked back.

"You could say the same." he responded. We were not looking at each other, it didn't feel necessary.

"What's going on, on your side of the road?" I said trying to distract myself from my thoughts.

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours" he said playfully.

"But I asked first, Mr. Cabernet" I said as I looked at the bottle they were serving him from.

"Fine, just some work issues, some product has been missing and I need to figure out if it's a mistake or if someone's stealing, and I hate to doubt my team" he answered kind of defeated.

"That sucks" was all I could tell him, I looked at him from the side of my eye, he looked tired, glass on one hand, the other one holding a cigarette, he had leather gloves on, kind of smart to smoke wearing those, skipping the smelly hands.

"I have a new job, well I have been there a month, but I am not sure how I fit in there, everyone is so good at the job and I'm just there, doing paperwork, organizing files, I came here looking for something more and I got exactly the same that I had back home." I told him with a sad smile on my face.

"I feel like a house mouse." I added.

I really did, running from here to there, not doing much and feeling small compared to everyone in the Agency.

He slid a pack of cigarettes and the lighter, I took one and lit it up. It's been a while since I smoked regularly.

"Get her a glass of wine, this is a wine conversation, not a beer one" he said to the bartender while pointing at me.

"Merlot" I said, "I'm more of a merlot woman".

"To each their own." he said.

We kept quiet for a while. I got a glass of wine and it was nice. Wine and cigarettes, I am gonna get a little buzzed tonight alright.

I saw him suddenly turn to face me, for the first time of the night, and so I did the same with a kind of surprised look on my face. He looked at me intensely, and I don't know if he noticed I was blushing, cause he is handsome, and has this serious look on his face.

"You don't look like a mouse." he said, still looking at me.

"What" I am so confused, these Yokohama men all they do is confuse me.

"You said you were a house mouse, but you don't look like it, you have the eyes of a cat" He said while looking straight at my eyes. And then I saw it, this man was buzzed. With only two glasses of wine. This is amazing.

"I don't know how to take that..." I told him while laughing a little bit.

"It's a compliment, cats eat mice, they hunt, they are intelligent, agile, and complicated, they do as they please because they can, so instead of drowning yourself in self pity, notice that you are not a mouse stuck on a trap, you are the trap" he said without looking at me this time.

"You don't know me" I said smiling not because of what he said, but because this is getting interesting.

"I know enough." he said putting his elbows on the counter and resting his head on his hands.

"You are drunk" I responded.

"And so what I am, even better, kids and drunks always tell the truth, that's the saying" he said while smiling a bit.

"You are weird" I told him, maybe I'm a little buzzed.

"So are you" he answered back.

"I like your hat". He blushed at what I said, he really must like his hat too.

"I like the white streak of your hair". He said, and I blushed. No one's ever commented on the white part of my hair, maybe because people at the Agency probably think It'll bring back memories I wish to forget, and that's true, I wear the white lock of hair like it was an ugly scar on my face.

"I have to go" I said while getting up, and looking for my purse.

"It's already paid" he said, turning his face to me and giving me a soft smile.

I kept looking at my purse and pulled out a bag with homemade cookies.

"I bake when I'm stressed so here you go, you are drunk so eat them before you go and stop drinking, so you can get home safe" I told him while giving him the bag of cookies. He looked confused and kind of shy? It was cute.

Right before I opened the door to leave I told him loudly so he could hear me.

"You are a lion, if I am a cat, you are a lion", and then I left.