quicksand (Dazai X Reader)

iron and sulfur

It has been three days since I have been trapped inside this room, with nothing to eat, and just drinking some water, and not much since everything goes to the baby. The man with the accent spoke to me usually, I started to call him matryoshka, he did not like the nickname.

"Why did you invite an evil entity inside your soul?" He asked as I tried to calm the baby, she was getting fuzzy and would start crying no matter what I did.

"What do you consider to be evil?" I asked back, walking from one corner of the room to another. I was being careful with my words, the man knew how to get me talking, and judging from the trap and the questions, the reason I was in that room is information, and since I am not that interesting, my guess is that he wants to know about Lilith.

"The mere definition of sin" He answered proudly and I snickered.

"Then everything must be evil to you, bet you think human nature is to be wicked" I said, raising my voice, the cries of the child growing louder and louder.

"I believe they need punishment and cleansing so we can be reborn" He said confidently, and I raised an eyebrow at his remark.

"It's a we sweetie, you are also a sinful human like the rest of us" My voice was strong and unwavering. I have been thinking about the situation and how it was handled, this man likes control, he also feels above it all. He is literally watching me and talking to me like an omnipresent entity, so far he has not shown mercy on me by giving me food or a change of clothes, he just watches me pay for my sins.

There was silence for a moment, except for the loud cries of the baby I held in my arms.

Then there was a smooth sound filling the room, calm music was being played, the velvety vibrations of a Cello made the room feel like being hit with sunlight, it was a beautiful melody that made me breath. I was getting frustrated without even noticing, I started to dance around the room with the small human in my arms, her cries started to stop as I danced around the circle that imprisoned me.

A bird flying around in a golden cage.

But it was not enough, the child's discomfort showing in her face, as if there was something she was missing, something I wasn't giving and as small as she is, she is not going to tell me what it is, and so I remembered what it is that us humans crave so much.

I placed the baby carefully on the floor, and I started to take off my shirt. The music stopped.

"What are you doing, that's indecent" The man in the heavens said and I ignored his remarks, taking off my shirt and placing it on the ground, picking up the baby again, taking her off the blanket and holding her against my skin.

"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away" I said reciting the bible verse that was deep forgotten in my memory from my religious upbringing.

"Matthew 5:29" was the only thing he responded to at my midnight mass.

"My body is just a body, if you sexualize it it's your eye and sinful mind. Babies need warmth, they need skin to skin contact, she needs to feel a heartbeat, plus I still have a bra and pants on you pervert" I said angrily at the man sitting on his moral high ground but shaming me on such natural aspects of life.

"I didn't know you were religious" He said in a suspicious tone.

"I am not, but my surroundings and family are, so I am familiar with Catholicism and Christianity, my childhood is filled with prayers and saints" I said, a small laugh escaped my lips as I remembered who I used to be.