quicksand (Dazai X Reader)

punch

I stared at him from the couch as he took my tote bag and stood in front of me.

"Ready to go?" He asked me to extend his hand so he could help me stand up. I looked at him and then at his hand, let out a loud breath and tried to sit up alone.

And I almost fell face first. Everything was spinning and I couldn't focus on anything, and I started laughing cause it's funny.

"Woah there, just how much did you drink?" He laughed as he held me by the shoulders and kneeling so he was looking at me face to face.

"Whole bottle!" Said the President who was God knows where.

"That explains it, so, can you walk or should I carry you?" He asked me looking at me in a way that I would describe as weird, but don't listen to me cause I'm kind of 'no thoughts, head empty'

"I'll walk." I whispered while putting a hand on his face, pushing it away making him kind of trip backwards, meanwhile, I tried to pull myself out of the couch using the edge to propel me up, and I almost fell face first again. Dazai caught me grabbing me by the waist and I used his arm to stand still.

Then I got pissed because well I am drunk.

"Geff of nme" I tried to say Get off me and pushed his arm and made my way to the door, I did manage to reach it, barely.

"Bye pwresidnt, swee ya tomorowd" I told the President without turning around in fear that I might get dizzy, and dragged myself out and used the wall to keep me up, I heard Dazai's footsteps behind me.

"You are going reaaally slow, I think it's better if I just carry you" he said watching me struggle to walk, laying his back on the wall in front of the one I was using as support.

"Piss off" I almost growled at him, I am so furious at this man, I can't stand him, I can't look at him without feeling hot out of embarrassment.

"Good to know you are an angry drunk" he laughed.

And I fell, not face first but butt first, this is the worst day of my life, how did it even happen? I just sat there looking at his smug face.

"I wanna punch you" I said looking at him, he looked pretty blurry.

"How about you punching me when we get to your apartment? I'll not even fight back, but you only get one punch okay?" He said walking closer to me and crouching down so again we were looking face to face again.

"Oki" I said smiling, I'm gonna punch the lights out of this man and I'm going to enjoy it.

"It's a deal, but let me carry you as soon as we get out of the building, you can't walk without taking 10 minutes to move one foot" he pulled me up and wrapped his arm around my waist to keep me up.

He's too close and my drunk self noticed how pretty he is, I want to crawl into a hole and die.

We got to the elevator, and the ride down was awkward, none of us said anything. I could only think of ways to scoul Atsushi cause I know he had something to do with this.

As we approached the front door of the building Dazai turned to face me and asked me, "So piggyback or bridal style?" I was so confused.

"Piggy I don't want to see your smug face" I said bitterly, he just kept on laughing and turned his back to me and crouched down a little. And so I kind of placed my arms around his neck and he pulled my legs up and we were ready to go.

It was quiet for a while, until I decided I wanted answers and could now blame it on the alcohol.

"Why did you pick me up?" I said resting my head on his shoulder, his hair was soft.

"I was with Atsushi when you called him, I figured he wouldn't know what to do with a drunk girl so I volunteered as a tribute" he said calmly, almost as if he was being honest.

"The real reason, what do chu gain from thwis" I confronted him, I'm kind of tired of playing along. He got a little tense.

"That's the real reason, I am just a gentleman" he kept on lying.

"Meeeh bullshit" I said loudly, he was very tense, he consciously or unconsciously put pressure on the hold of my legs.

"I wanted to see the drunk version of you, thought it would be interesting" he finally said.

"Ands sho far?" I asked him.

"It's fun, very angry and bitchy but fun nevertheless" he said laughing again.

"Why do you always wear bandages around your body?" I asked the question I have bee keeping for so long, I tried to ignore it since everyone did, but I'm not stupid, I kind of know the answer but never sure. I noticed when he had more than one layer around his wrist of neck, even his ankles.

And he got very tense again, he even stopped walking.

"Why do you wanna know?" He asked me in a low serious tone.

"I'm just curious" I half lied.

"Bullshit" he answered as he started to walk again, we were close to the apartment.

"I have a theory but I'm not sure I am right" I confessed.

"What's your theory?" he was getting annoyed, I don't know if I should keep pushing.

"I don't wanna tell." I whispered.

"Why not?" His tone was less hostile.

"I think you are gonna get mad and punish me for it when I am sober" I need to keep my mouth shut but the alcohol is making me babble.

"Do you think I punish you when I get angry at you?" he asked with curiosity.

"You like control, so you punish when people don't do what you want, it's not only me, you do it with Atsushi too, even Kunikida" he is gonna get mad, he is not gonna like that I have analyzed his behavior.

"Mmmm, you are spot on, such a great psychologist you are" he said mockingly.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to upset you, you can let me down now, I'll walk to the apartment myself" I was sobering up I was a little scared and a little sad, I felt like crying, but he didn't let go and there was no use in fighting with him right now.

"I said I was gonna get you home and I'll do that, I don't break my promises" he told me, he was less tense but the atmosphere was uncomfortable.

"I am upset, but not at you directly. I just don't like other people seeing things I don't want them too." He said softly.

"So are you or are you not defensive with me?" I asked straight away.

"I am" he sounded defeated.

"I knew it! I was not crazy, I am smart and observant!" I screamed unintentionally, but I was happy it was not me being paranoid and Dazai laughed, not a big fake laugh, a small and sincere one.

We were almost at my place. I told him I could walk up the stairs since he must be tired, but he said no and kept on carrying me.

Dazai opened the apartment door and made his way in, he didn't let go of me, he took his shoes off and made his way to my sad living room, putting me down on the sad couch and sitting down beside me.

I kept quiet the whole time, he brought my feet up and started to un-do my shoelaces.

"You don't have to do that, you can go now you kept your promise" I told him while resting my head on the couch and closed my eyes, I was so tired, It has been a long day, and fun fact it's like 6 pm only.

"You still get to punch me" I opened one eye and looked at him.

"I don't feel like punching you now, you always find ways of making me forgive you, you are free to go I guess" I said softly and closed my eyes.

"Do you want me to go?" He asked slowly, I couldn't really sense any intention behind the question.

I took a second to think, I didn't know what I wanted. Well, that's a lie I do know what I want.

"No", I whispered, I don't know if he heard it, and I drifted away in a heavy slumber.