quicksand (Dazai X Reader)

second act: drama

It had been four days since the date. Dazai and I acted like nothing happened at work, we were talking again but it was just...kind of awkward. We gave each other soft smiles from across the room, and they were real ones, but still it felt like there was this big invisible wall that kept separating us.

I ate lunch on the roof this time, alone with the cow that Kenji had somehow gotten up here, and seeing the sky, smelling the flowers from the garden. Chuuya was on the phone.

"I don't get why you are so worked up about it, it was a date, you went to the movies, that's how it's supposed to work" He said over the line, sounding annoyed.

"I am telling you it was weird, I have never seen Dazai that...tense and stiff it was very awkward" I said, eating my sandwich and dodging the bites that the freaking cow wanted to give to my lunch.

"Well, he is weird! Dazai is weird and off putting, he is the freaking devil, plus its not what he usually does, he is used to fucking them then leaving them, so yeah, I think he is way out of his comfort zone" He yelled as if he was scolding me.

"Don't yell at me" I whispered annoyedly and I heard him sigh.

"Sorry, but I don't know what to tell you. Have you asked her what she thinks?" He said in a calmer tone, I heard the ruffling of papers on his end, he must still be working.

"This is supposed to be your lunchtime too, why are you still working?" I asked in a serious tone, and I heard him curse under his breath.

"Sorry mom... and don't be creepy and analyze the background noises jesus..." He said sarcastically and I heard him stand up, probably to get something to eat.

"In case you can't hear, I am walking to get something to eat... also, answer the question" He said keeping the tone and I just sighed remembering the conversation I had with Lilith after the date.

...

"Am I crazy or was he acting weird?" I asked her out loud, not caring if I seemed weird talking to myself.

"You are not, he was acting differently, he was nervous and awkward, and distant" She answered in my head.

"Right! I could see him get lost in his own thoughts, as if..." I said thinking in a way to describe what had just happened.

"As if he was reading and acting a script" she answered for me.

"We didn't actually agree on a second date... do you think this is it? That he doesn't like me like that and he just noticed?" I said with sadness in my voice, waves of hurt crashing in my chest. I have to be honest, this would be my first time being rejected, after the awful past relationship that I had, I tried having others, not as casual but still, I always found myself leaving others.

"It could be, but I see it unlikely, you see, his sadness was...personal, it was not leaving his soul, it stayed there swimming and it grew as the night passed." Lilith told me in a soothing voice.

...

I explained to Chuuya what Lilith and I talked about, he just hummed in response.

"I don't know what you want me to tell you, princess. The man is a wreck and you knew from the start, still, I will hear you bitch all the time you need, but next time let's go for drinks so I can suppress my need to kill the mummy looking bastard." He said in a soft tone, and I laughed and agreed.

We talked about unimportant things after, eating our lunches in peace. It seemed to work, being able to talk to Chuuya again, we are indeed planning to see each other again but he has been really busy with his work and me with mine.