quicksand (Dazai X Reader)

I wish I never kissed you in my living room

whoever said it's better to love and lose
never loved and lost you

(I wish I never met you- Babygirl)

TW: mentions of suicide, psychological and emotional abuse.

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Three weeks had passed and the Agency was officially going back to normal. 

The lingering sense of awkwardness was no more and the members were working as hard as their personalities let them to. Kunikida was still as diligent and responsible as possible, Atsushi was hard working yet clumsy, the Tanizaki siblings were… still that , Kyoka was getting closer to Yosano and learning about different ways to heal and torture , Dazai was slacking off, and… the young woman with strands of white hair and tired eyes was actually going out on jobs. 

She started to get paired with Kenji. It was a strategy manufactured by Dazai, fully knowing that when the teenager was involved she would agree to help. That way, she got herself doing jobs alongside the blonde boy with a straw hat, and surprisingly, she was enjoying it. The work given to Kenji wasn't the hardest, also, it was quite easy because everyone feared the teen, the only thing she had to do was to keep things less chaotic. 

Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. 

Little by little, her smile started to get more genuine. 

“We are off! See you guys later!” Kenji shouted while opening the door a little too strong, making the door frame tremble and a big thud from the knob hitting the wall. The young woman just smiled apologetically towards Kunikida and walked after the teen. 

Atsushi saw them take off, his eyes lingering a little longer than necessarily. Days were getting easier, things back to normal, the sun was still warm, yet he felt like something was… off. The weretiger could not explain it logically, the only thing he had was a discomfort at the pit of his stomach, like staying at the top of a rollercoaster and waiting for the fall. 

His eyes traveled to the empty seat beside him. Dazai has been quite absent from the office, he had called to check on his unconventional mentor and his concerns were brushed off, “I am working on something, just keep writing my missing reports for me please!”, that's the answer he gave Atsushi. 

“Yeah, he has been busy with god-knows-what, so don't worry about him, I still see him almost every night” The newest, yet not so new member of the Agency responded when also asked about Dazai's disappearance from the office. 

Still, Atsushi felt himself preparing for the hit. 

Shaking his head, the young man tiger stood up and headed for the stairs, clutching a bunch of unfinished reports in his arms. He has decided to work on the café downstairs in hopes to clear his head. 

It indeed worked. Between the smell of freshly brewed coffee and tea, the murmuring of people outside on the street, the honking of cars, and the change of environment, he actually got some work done. It was getting late, the sun was going down making the sidewalk gleam a warm orange, so he took his things and headed back upstairs. 

“Excuse me sir, do you work here?” A man dressed in a khaki uniform asked Atsushi just as he was about to open the Agency door. The weretiger shyly nodded as an answer. 

“I have a packet to deliver, if you could just sign here please” 

The package was a small box, it seemed pretty normal. Atsushi shook it a little trying to figure out its contents but only heard a faint sound, it also was not heavy. The interesting part of it was that it had Dazai's name written on it. And so, Atsushi placed it on top of his mentor's desk, along with all the reports he had made on his behalf.