quicksand (Dazai X Reader)

little island

The two souls gone estranged were laying down on different beds of the infirmary. Not looking at each other, just looking straight ahead into the screen of a laptop they stole from Kunikida to watch netflix from his account, since he changed the password.

"I never really liked Friends" she told him while eating potato chips that they stole from Rampo's secret stash.

"Neither did I. It's almost illogical how they haven't tried to kill each other, not even once!" He said casually, eating his own chips.

"Not every group of friends tries to kill each other you know? Not everyone has enough trauma to go homicidal" She responded, chuckling, and eyeing him.

They called the President after the incident early that day, and he said the right call was for her to stay in the Agency, monitored, and since Dazai's ability was the only one that could tame the fire, he was to stay with her for the night, and if something were to happen the Agency members would be notified and a contingency plan would take place.

"Boring~" He sang, and she laughed, then she sighed. She missed being comfortable with the stupid yet smart detective. It has been weeks since they had a normal conversation that did not include work or their "fake children" Atsushi, Kyoka and Kenji.

"Has she come around?" He asked, while not looking at her.

"No, she won't answer when I call for her, she isn't in our mind palace" She answered while staring at him, in hopes her devil would answer her calling.

"Your bleeding eye looked like hers, violet with a cat like iris." he informed her, since no one has talked about the incident to her, no one has described to her what it looked from the outside.

"You think she is rejecting me?" she asked, throwing him a potato chip to get him to look at her. He just dodged it.

"I think you are rejecting her, or at least a part of you neglecting the entity within you" He said, still avoiding her gaze. He did not want to look at her for two reasons. He was still confused of what to do, the line that divided his personal and professional reasons to keeping her close was kind of blurry, he missed her, but he wants to be sure that it was not out of boredom; and the second reason was the way she looked right now reminds him of himself some years ago.

"Are you not looking at me because I look how you used to in your mafia days?" She asked, as if reading his mind. He turned to face with a shocked expression.

"I am not reading your mind, I need Hecate for that and well, she's ignoring my calls. Plus, I would never do that to you, it's intrusive and rude, I would only do it with your permission. Still, I would not be afraid to look inside your head" She said, now not looking at him even though she got him to look at her.

"Would you let me see inside your head?" He asked, curiosity reflected in his eyes.

"And we're talking and you wanna look inside my mind, I say you can't because I lost it when I knew you were alive" she sang to him and he let out a small chuckle.

"You didn't answer the question" He responded, still smiling.

"I would, but I don't think she would let you inside our castle, she doesn't like you very much" She responded laughing and he let out another chuckle.

"What is the rest of the song?" He asked, throwing her a potato chip, and turning his body to her so he could see her better.

"Be my guest, go on and waste your life inside her bed now
I bet you get bored having sex
Because you want me and you just don't know it yet"

She sang as she made a little dance with a smirk on her face, still not facing the man he was serenading. She could see from her peripheral vision he was smiling and raising his eyebrow.

"Getting bold now are we" he said and both of them smiled at each other like they have done before, as if they were two high school sweethearts hiding from the world in the school's infirmary.

"Sorry" She said between the giggles they were sharing.

"Don't be" he answered, both of them staring at each other with an ocean of distance and complications away. She wanted to throw him a rope and reel him closer, but unsure that he would catch it, so she turned to face the lone laptop that no one was watching but was filling the void of unsaid words that was drowning both of them.

Then one of the castaways got out of his bed like a boat and pushed it close to the other lost soul lost at sea. She looked surprised at his childish tactics, but she laughed and pushed her boat too. Now both of their boats or beds were together, because no one had the guts to call the other to jump in theirs, but they were stubborn enough to know they wanted to be closer.

And so they kept watching the tv show they were not really watching, reaching for each other snacks as an excuse to get closer until shoulders were touching, then heads were resting on shoulders, hands brushing together, pinkies intertwined and as the smooth waves of uncertainty and blurry lines rocked them both to sleep. Together on the little island they have built for themselves.