for you: to you ✰ chanmin

𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘯

十三

first dibs:
2008

〞

Technically, you were my best friend first.

I don't know what gave Sunny the impression that she could steal you away from me, but apparently she felt like it was her right to completely exclude me from the annoyingly new trio we had formed.

Every single thing that you and I had formed together now became shared; split between the three of us. Even though the ratio was always off.

The strawberry milk I always bought you? You always halved it with her.

The lunch I always anonymously packed for you? You always gave half of it to her.

The care that I gave you that Tuesday lunch time, about a week after she started hanging out with us, because you slipped and fell on the playground and scraped your knee. But, luckily, I was there to help you get up and take you to the toilets to get your knee painstakingly cleaned so you wouldn't get an infection?

Do you remember that?

Because you didn't even thank me, and instead thanked Sunhee for the fucking sunflower bandaid that she gave you after she found it on the fucking floor.

It's like you severely under-appreciated me. And it really hurt.

So I started trying to leave clues in the hopes that─ well... Sunhee would leave.

But no. Obviously her overpowering annoyingness was to make up for the fact that she was significantly idiotic. And, everytime I would drop hints that I wanted it to just be Seungmin and Chan, she always found her way around it by completely blocking me out.

It was like she either was incredibly dumb, some sort of villain mastermind, or just trying to pretend like I didn't exist.

It felt like I was beginning to compete with her.

But then it felt stupid having to compete with her over you as a best friend, because it wasn't like she had no one else!

In my case: it had just been you and I for about a year, because I didn't really know how to connect with anyone else, and so we basically just relied on each other. I didn't exactly have any other friends, and I didn't want to necessarily try to search for any more, either.

Sunhee, on the other hand, was pretty much as popular as an eight-year-old girl could get.

She was pretty, athletic, friendly (although perhaps overly) and her family was frustratingly rich too. You couldn't go to anyone in my year group without them bringing up some sort of topic including Sunny, and so I began to struggle in seeing a point for her to hang out with the two of us.

She was little miss perfect, and I felt like she was out of place in our bubble.

I thought the best thing I could do was distance myself, and you would eventually follow. So, I forced myself to call off first dibs on you, and try to make some new friends.

I didn't exactly expect it to work, but at least it would mean that if you blanked me for a year again, I wouldn't have to suffer alone.

'Operation: Find A Friend' had now commenced, and I was keen on making some new bonds, because if Sunny could have you, then surely I could have someone else if I wanted.

# •°彡

seungmin is so petty in this chapter, i love it

anygays, might go back to writing one of my drafts now ;)

─jen