Chapter Eighteen Finally Packing

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Nicks perspective
The hot sun was shining down on me then I opened my eyes and went to cuddle Char, My favourite part of the morning was ruffling his messy black hair and him cuddling tight against me. I turned over and noticed he was gone, most mornings he would wake up beside me and cuddle me tell I woke up. Then I heard scuffling coming from our closet, we had a walk in closet so I couldn't see him in there but I could hear him in there. I called out "Charlie where's my morning cuddles" he then yells back "You had your fun yesterday, I need to be the adult in this relationship and pack for our trip that's in two days!" I groaned back. I hated this trip ever since I came out as bisexual and this was the most nervous I have ever felt about going because Charlie was coming this year. Don't get me wrong It's not that I don't want Charlie to come it's that I don't want Charlie to be at risk of David and his new girlfriends bullying and harassment. I've never met David's new girlfriend but if she was anything like david I didn't want to.

I crept out of bed and into the closet where Charlie was folding and organizing different outfits. I tapped his back and said "Charlie can I have a hug" he turns his head around, stands up and says "Always my big teddy bear" I pulled him in tight then lifted him off the ground and brought him back to our bed. I rolled on top of him and said "your mine now, I'll cuddle you forever" he can't help himself from smiling but he tried not too, he replies "Nick I love you but I actually need to pack please let me go" I really didn't want him to go pack maybe if I stall him we can forget about this awful trip forever. "Never" I said well grinning. Charlie looked unimpressed and just wiggled his way out of my grasp and went back to the closet to pack more. I hadn't been getting much sleep since Charlie was in the hospital between that and the trip. I felt really irritated and angry at Charlie for being so obsessed and excited over this stupid trip. I just wanted him to spend some time with me; he had been in the hospital for a few days and now he's finally back and I just wanted some cuddle time with my boyfriend and maybe I was also trying to distract him.

Charlie's perspective
Nick was being super cute this morning but I couldn't give in to him because if I didn't start packing now it was never going to get done, every time I try and pack or mention something about the trip Nick kinda acts weird or try's to distract me. After I wiggle out from Nicks grip I go back into the closet to start packing again when I hear "CHARLIE I SWEAR YOU CARE MORE ABOUT THIS TRIP THAN YOU CARE ABOUT ME" I felt stunned Nick never yells at me why was he yelling. I hated arguments and always felt small when someone would yell at me. My immediate response to this was crying a few tears fell from my eyes, I wiped them away and walked over to our bed to talk to nick. I said to him "That's not true I love you more than anything in the world" He screamed "NO YOU DONT ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS THIS DUMB TRIP" "Nick you know that's not true I love you why are you saying this" Nick looks furious and yells "JUST LEVAE ME ALONE!!!" I felt so many emotions confusion, sadness and most of all guilt but I didn't even know what I felt guilty for. Nick was making me feel uncomfortable sad and small, I hated being yelled at. I wasn't a confrontational person so I never really knew how to speak up for myself. I looked him straight in the eyes and said "Please Nick stop yelling at me" immediately after I said that my eyes got wet and I couldn't hold myself back from sobbing. I turned away from him and ran to the bathroom shutting and locking the door behind me.

Nicks perspective
After I yelled at Charlie he said "Please Nick stop yelling at me." I just realized what I had done omg I was the worst I made Charlie cry. Seeing Charlie cry was the worst thing in the world but this was worse I made him cry. He hates it when people yell at him, he's not a confrontational person so he feels helpless, I made him feel this way. My heart broke when I saw him run away from me crying, I was suppose to be the person he ran to when he cries. Gosh i'm a moron I toke my anger out on him, it wasn't his fault at all he didn't do anything wrong. I ran over to the bathroom door and wiggle the door knob and it was locked I said "Charlie please let me in" he then softly says "No i'm scared" Him saying that made me feel like the biggest jerk ever and so much regret "Charlie you know I would never hurt you" he quickly responded "I know but you never yell at me and it scares me" Why was I such an idiot I should've never yelled at him. "Charlie I'm sorry I will never yell at you again, please let me in" I could hear the little door knob click then I opened the door to see Charlie standing there with his face all red and puffy. I stared into his red eyes and said "Charlie I'm so sorry I never ever should have yelled at you" Then I quickly hugged him. He whispered "do you really believe those things you said.. Do you think I don't care about you" I then started to cry "No no no I'm just scared of my brother he's an asshole and I didn't want him saying anything mean to you" Charlie said "really is that why you've been avoiding packing" I replied "yeah that's the main reason but also it really hurts my feelings when my own brother says mean things about me" Charlie picks his head up off my shoulder and puts his two hands on the side of my face " Nick I'm sorry I should've realized how hard this trip is for you, we shouldn't go" Charlie shouldn't be the one apologizing I should be. I say in response " Charlie you know your not allowed to say sorry" Charlie pulls me in for a kiss after a few seconds he pulls away and says " Nick I love you and I don't like seeing you stressed like this I think we should cancel" I smile and say "why do you have to be so dame cute all the time" he blushes then says "Nick answer the question" I knew he was probably right about canceling but my mom and Charlie would be so heartbroken plus deep down inside I really did want to go on a holiday with Charlie, it would be our first one ever besides the school trip to paris. "It's ok char we should go I want to go with you" He smiles and I just latch onto him then whisper "Char I'm so so so sorry I yelled at you and I'll never do it again" he then rested his head on my shoulder and we just hugged for a while. I held Charlie's hand and pulled him to the closet and we finish packing together.

Authors Note
Thanks for reading todays chapter I love you all ❤️ Everyone stay safe and I hope you enjoyed todays chapter.

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