Marriage, a Heartstopper Fan-fiction

Chapter Sixty four Hospital visit

Nicks perspective
I walked through the doors hands clenched, heart rate increased, head spinning. I sat down in the waiting room and my mind imidatitly darted to Charlie and if he was ok. After seeing what happened to Charlie when we went to visit Elle in the hospital after her surgery made me feel uneasy he had panic attack for god sake was that happening right now, after waiting for what felt like forever I realized I was doing it again, I needed to trust him! He said he was ok and I needed to believe him, but it won't hurt if I text him to be sure.

Nick:
Hey darling everything ok ❤️

Charlie:
Yup I drove down the street and parked in a Walmart parking lot, better scenery

Nick
I never thought I would hear someone say that lol 🤣

Nick
Your not panicking are you? I just need to know your ok, that was a really crap situation

Charlie
It did get me thinking about things, but i'm calm and doing fine

Nick
Try not to think about it

Charlie
I will, Elle said she wanted to Face Time so i'll talk to her, what's going on in there wish I could hold your hand and be there :(

Nick
I'm still waiting :/ we can hold hands after don't be hard on yourself

Charlie
Please update me! love you and i'm so proud of you! not to sound like a cheesy parent or anything but I am so proud 💕

Nick
I love you too babe, tell Elle I say hi 💗

"Nicolas Nelson" the receptionist called. I walked over to the front desk and she escorted me into the hall and towards a room. Once I entered the small room the doctor tapped the bed that was lined with paper to keep it clean. I would have much rathered to have sat down in a seat because I didn't need any physical examination but doctors always seem to insist you sit on the bed. "Ok Mr Nelson, Im Doctor Palm i'll be reading out some information your lovely councillor has provided me and could you please tell me if this is all correct" I nodded yes, I felt my voice might shake if I spoke. In high school I found it easy to talk to people and to be outgoing, I still am but when it comes to hospital stuff and talking about mental illness i'm nervous and shy. I know how hard it is for Charlie to do simple everyday things because of mental illnesses and how much pain and damage it's done to him maybe that's why it scares me... I've seen first hand how awful and detrimental it can be to a persons life. "Tell me do your hands shake or legs move unintentionally when Charlie's not around because your anxious or worried, do you have an uneasy, on edge feeling when he's not around, do you constantly think in a worried manner about everything when he's not around ?" wow that was a lot but i've answered all these questions before I open my mouth to answer but nothing comes out, I must look like such a moron right now, I try again "Yes to a.. a ...all the questions" My words were stuttering and my fist were clenching harder and harder digging into my skin. Doctor Palm then said "it's ok to be nervous just take it slow, When Charlie's not around are you like totally out of breath, heart rate shoots up and you feel a constant state of panic" What she mentioned didn't sound like what I felt it wasn't that extreme "No, I just feel like my brain won't turn off and i'm worrying like crazy but I don't feel totally panicked my breath is regular same with my heart rate and I don't so much feel panicked but flustered or anxious." She nodded and start scribbling down notes. She asked a few more questions and I answered them
honestly telling her in as much detail as I possible could without stuttering. My face was bright red from embarrassment after how I acted, I was a mess and it showed. She had left the room to grab something which I was hoping wasn't a prescription, I didn't want to take any medication i've been reading about some medication prescribed to people who suffer from different types of anxiety and it can change your behaviour, sleep, and eating patterns completely I hate change and I dont want my whole life to change over this.

She comes back into the room holding what I was dreading a pill bottle "So i've gone ahead and prescribed you a weeks worth of these pills that are a very light dose of anxiety medication, I want you to try these out by taking one everyday for a week after that you'll tell me how they worked, your case is very minor and this isn't too much of a problem but it can get there that's why we need to take steps forwards, If the pills work then i'll give you a whole bottle, you won't take them every day only when you need it and your feeling anxious about being away from Charlie. Another important note is that you can't take these for any other reason only when your feeling anxious about not being around Charlie it's important to not become dependent on these pills to manage everyday anxiety's" Although I didn't want to take pills I didn't mind because they weren't an everyday pill they were only when I felt I needed them I had full control. I did hate the thought of having to take them for a week straight everyday but it was only one week I could mange.

I texted Charlie and waited out front for him to pick me up.

He pulled up beside me and jumped out of the car to open the passenger side for me I guess he was driving, I didn't complain I didn't have the energy to drive anyway. I got in and he shut the door behind me. He then jumped in the drivers seat and started to drive then looked at me eager to know what happened "Soooo how did it go?" he asks in an inquiring tone. I sat and thought about how embarrassing it was when I could barely talk properly "I acted like a fool and embarrassed myself" he sort of laughed a little before getting serious running his hands down my arm "i'm sure your exaggerating you did great" I half smile before laying my head on his chest stretching my body across the car to reach him, then closed my eyes. He ruffles my hair and plays with it a bit before saying "We'll talk about the details later your tired yeah" I mumbled "mmhm" before falling asleep on him.

Authors Note
This may not have been the most interesting Chapter but for some reason I really love how it played out. Please tell me your opinions on the events of these past few chapters I would love to hear!!!!!!! ❤️💗💓 it only makes the story better!!!