crack chapters

clouds

Rain pattered against the window. Theseus looked down from her ceiling the window she could see the moon.  What time was it 12 am? 1 am? possibly even later she had honestly lost count long ago her phone had been thrown on the floor hours ago. She had thrown it in a fit of rage over the one person that didn't deserve it most.

Silas

She didn't remember why she had thrown it but she blamed Silas for something he couldn't control. She heard the screen shatter as it slammed against the wall as did her heart when she found out why Silas had been gone for a week. 

Theseus dully moved out of her bed that she hadn't left in hours. She stepped over cords and wires at the edge of her bed on the floor. She looked over to the cabinet well it was more a huge wooden crate under her painting and ran her hand over the clothes and books looking for the phone. Once she felt the cold screen under her hand she pulled the phone up and tapped the screen twice so it turned on.

The screen wasn't cracked as much as she thought it would be. She used the fingerprint ID to unlock the phone it opened to her Instagram chats with Silas. A voice message must have been playing as half of the voice message was listened to.

Theseus closed the chat and opened her camera and took a photo of the rain mixing with the moon and fog creating a murky type sky.

Theseus collapsed onto her bed she wasn't going to school tomorrow not even if they forced her. She would kick, cry, and scream before she ever went back to that place.

The place that killed her best friend.

Theseus should have seen this coming she saw the signs long before. Silas zoning out or holding his head low. Picking at his hands you could say he always did that but no. That was panicked scratching at the skin of his hand when his thoughts would invade his head.

Or maybe it was the fresh new cuts on his left arm that Theseus promised to never utter a word of. It was not her place to question nor demand an explanation. Silas was a hydrangea a flower that blossomed from such a little seed to a flower that held such beauty and layers. Layers that slowly pulled back to reveal more beautiful layers of flowers.

But Theseus loved all those layers how could she not? They made Silas who he was. Theseus rolled onto her back her head was pounding like a thunderstorm racking against her brain.

The fight to stay conscious was not worth it there was no one to talk to at midnight again. No one to talk about her special interest in or her video games her shows the books she's reading. No one

--

She was not awoken at 6 am like usual she doubt she would be woken up at that time anytime soon. If they could see her red swollen eyes or hear her hoarse voice.

By the sun outside it was probably noon or later. Theseus could care less the sleep did nothing to lessen the pounding in her head. The world span as she stood up as if there was Tv static in her head and gravity wanted to drag her down into a puddle of water. If it did she wouldn't object.

Theseus held onto the desk for support before making her way to the door. Taking her first step out the door was horrible it was so bright so so so bright. Her grandma sat on the couch headphones on and looking up towards the tv with the controller in hand.

Of course, her grandma wouldn't check on her Theseus was irrational when she was upset. Theseus and her grandmother were oil and water sparks and fire always clashing.

She was shouting some words that Theseus put no effort into listening to. Making her way past the living room she went through the kitchen making a left into her grandparent's room. The huge built into wall cabinet was in front of the bed so Theseus opened up the two wooden doors.

The cabinet was filled with bottles of pills and jewelry and paper. Theseus searched for the big blue bottle it was the most obvious bottle out of all the orange bottles scattered around the cabinet.

Theseus grabbed the bottle and popped it open the bottle dumping a few blue pills into her hand. Theseus moved her chosen pill closer into her hand and dumped the rest of the blue pills back into the bottle.

Theseus swallowed the pill dry the water was too far away it was too much effort to get one from the fridge or case. She was probably dehydrated having gone through all her water stored away in her room.

Theseus decided against getting water or any kind of snacks to huddle away in her room. Theseus wasn't one to cry intact she hated doing so it felt wrong to cry. The feeling of being vulnerable was treacherous making her want to swallow any word and go back in time. So instead she would stare at the ceiling or the wall or mindlessly scroll on tiktok.

There was also a possibility Theseus toughed it out and went to school like normal as if her other half wasn't ripped away from her. Theseus bet two bucks on herself she could probably do it though. To hold her emotions in till she cracked like a piece of glass. Shattering into so many tiny pieces that you could never fully put back together.

But that's how she was and that's how she was going to stay fragments of a shattered person. That didn't matter though Theseus was Theseus no matter what. An empty shell of a human being ever since she was a child. It wasn't that sadness didn't affect her it did but not in the way it should. Instead, it was just easier to rip that part away from her heart as if it never existed.

She couldn't do that with Silas though it seemed impossible Theseus tried and tried. It was not as easy as she thought it would be Silas was nothing someone you could pretend that didn't exist.

He would always be there even if it was only in the back of your mind. Theseus sighed rolling onto her side facing her fan letting the cool air hit her face.

She should have known, that Silas was like the clouds always there but never meant to stay (no matter how much he wanted). That was okay though she loved him as much as a best friend could even as a hydrangea, cloud, or moon.

They were two halves of a whole one that made something beautiful and deadly at the same time. They were there for each other and that's all that mattered.

There is a longing when you are no longer a full but only a half. A half that cannot function without the other side but she was the Sun strong, energetic, and loyal until the end?

So as Theseus closed her eyes to let sleep wash over her she hoped to never wake up again.