crack chapters

Flows like water

I stared at the time on my phone 8:12 am. Amelia will be walking in the library doors any second now. She would come in find a seat next to me and say hi to me before slipping her left earbud in and watching something on her phone. If anything, it would be the latest The Last Of Us episode or YouTube shorts. 

The door to the library opened and Amelia walked through. Her pe bag swung over her left shoulder. She looked towards where I sat and walked forward dodging other tables before walking in a straight line toward my table.  

And yet as she stood in front of me, I couldn't seem to make myself focus on her. Everything around her blurred and everything that came out of her mouth was a mummer blurring in with everything around me. 

I tried my hardest to grasp what she was saying yet all I could understand was bits and pieces of the words that tumbled out of her mouth. She was talking about the new last of us episode that I hadn't seen yet. 

"I haven't seen it yet no spoilers"

I love spoilers    

Her talking her rant quickly ceased and she apologized telling me to watch it soon before returning to her phone and pulling up YouTube. Everything was so loud and yet I couldn't seem to focus in on anything, not the vibration of my phone telling me Silas would be late or the loud sound of the library door constantly slamming open and closed. 

The bell rang and Amelia got up quickly not bothering to wait up for me and walked out of the library. I swung my backpack strap onto my right shoulder my phone buzzed again, and I didn't bother to pick it up. I slowed down my steps almost at a snail's pace compared to how fast my body wanted to walk I popped my headphone back into the case and waited. 

The sound of shoes on the concrete ground got louder. Heavy footsteps, stepping with the heel first, and unequal weight on each foot the weight subconsciously leaning onto the other foot he didn't hurt from falling from his attic. 

"Hey," Silas said I breathed in deep feeling the air fill my lungs.

"Hi" It was blank, it was dull I didn't even know if I said it out loud or if it was just in my head, and I left him standing there awkwardly. His eyes racked over my face looking for a trace of anything that could tell him what was wrong. His face was blurred out much like the rest of him and I blinked hard until he was no longer a blurry figure but a person. 

"Are you okay?" He didn't touch me as much as he wanted to, I could see his hands flex forwards before retracting them to himself. My eyes looked up from the floor to his face he didn't look to okay himself. His body displayed exhaustion and stress as it flowed off him in waves.

 I would ask why but if I knew anything about Silas, he wouldn't tell me. Too concerned about my well-being more than his own. It was stupid it was like he didn't trust me enough to know what was wrong with him. Every time it was brought up between us, he would quickly shoot it down saying that I had my own concerns, and that I didn't need to worry about his. I wanted to punch him in the face so hard every time.

I guess it's a side effect of growing up the way he did independent yet codependent on people he loved. He didn't like being dependent on other people ever since all he had was himself growing up.

"Yeah," I said after a moment I must have been spacing out he wouldn't snap me out of it more like waiting for me to come back down to reality by myself. I could feel myself losing myself to time. I could feel myself pulling away from Silas my body physically ripping itself away even when I didn't want it to.

Everything was slow yet fast and people were a blur and mushes of colors with no distinct shape. Every time I would look at a clock it would always be 12 minutes ahead even when it only felt like a minute had passed. I looked down towards my hands and counted five fingers I wasn't dreaming even though in every aspect it felt like it.