crack chapters

For the last time

It was hard.

But that's what I had subjected myself to. I knew what I was doing the moment I fell in love with his loving smile that made me fall in love more every time. His laugh of pure spring and pure heart he wore on his shoulder. He was an angel graced to me by the heavens and I thanked whatever God that he was given to me.

There was so much more to him than I thought. Heavy eyes of blue and gold that would blend into an ocean, not a calm one his eyes were never calm even if they were dull. It was an ocean that would slam against rocks before reeling back in Todo it again.

Achilles his beloved, his life, his other half. There was a side of him I never saw and it's selfish of me to wish I never saw it.

I knew he could never sit down in one spot. Never stay in one place for too long before he got antsy to move one more. Was it selfish of me to turn my head every time Achilles ran off or every time he and that boy Adrian would hold eye contact too long.

Adrian was a kind boy with tan sun-kissed skin black fluffy hair with a flower crown always on top. It made me see why Achilles had taken some interest.

Was it selfish for me to ignore every little sign of Achilles being unloyal because I love him? Sometimes it was easy to ignore other times not. It was a mystery whether or not Achilles knew that I had caught on long ago.

But to be true to myself I don't think he cared. But he expected me to sit and wait like a dog waiting for his every command. And I did

Sometimes I wanted to leave but when he kissed my head as he left or his soft lips grazed my skin those thoughts disappeared.

It was so hard to think about Achilles cheating but now that I think about it, it didn't seem impossible. His brain constantly itches for adventure and new things and his interest in me has simply faded.

I wonder why he would ever come home and act like nothing's wrong a smile on his face and hair ruffled. I only pushed my feelings down every time with a smile.

I cried every time he left the house it felt wrong to cheat on Achilles like every memory we had would burn in a fire pit. I was chained to Achilles so when he got bored of Adrian he would come right back to me before he found another. 

When your in my position there's only so much you can do. So when he kissed me good night or good morning I would bathe in the sunlight he produced.

He was my life I could not live without him. I ran across a battlefield for him and I would do it all over again even with no armor just for him just to utter the words I love you.

There was no meaning behind those three words when he said it. His tone was different his smile wouldn't go up to his eyes. I can only imagine how he said it to Adrian kissing him all over his face as he said everything he loved about the man.

Achilles was no longer mine but in my heart, he will forever be mine, be my person the reason I breathe the reason I smile.