crack chapters

Dimming Sun

Hinata was a sun in everybody's life.

And he hated it

He felt no motivation anymore to even plug in his phone or get up. Every day dragged on slower than the last, time seeming indefinite and everlasting. 

It was hard being the sun. Always expected to shine brightly lighting up anyone's day. To have a smile plastered on his face no matter what as if it was a clay mask molded over years.

Hinata wanted to be the stars. Only coming out at the peaceful verge of night. But then again even stars had a role to play in life. They were expected to decorate the night sky as the sun in the early morning.

Hinata liked to think that maybe the people around him weren't the cause of his feelings. His feelings of self-doubt and never-ending pressure. They each one left a deep scar etched into his mask either changing the way they perceived him or how he perceived himself.

The room was cold yet always felt too hot on his skin. Hinata stared at the ceiling the house was quiet his younger sister Natsu was asleep in her room. The sunlight was starting to peek into the room through the blinds.

He wanted to slam his head into a wall. Well if he could he would he didn't even have enough motivation to grab his phone or to turn off the blaring alarm that was giving him a headache.

Hinata slammed the button on the alarm half of him told him to launch it at a wall but he didn't. Hinata sat up making his way to the door and pushing it open making his way down the hallway to Natsu's.

"Natsu wake up," Hinata said Natsu rolled over before sitting up Hinata closed the door and left the room while Natsu got ready.

Hinata shuffled his way into the kitchen and an envelope sat on the counter. He already knew what was inside a few hundred dollars and a note he would never read.

Hinata threw the note in the trash

He had to be strong for his sister he knew he did but sometimes he just wanted to collapse. Collapse onto the floor and fall into eternal sleep where no one could disturb him.

Hinata never said he wanted this. To be his sister's main caretaker the one to pick her up from school and feed her breakfast and dinner. He wanted all the chances that were stripped away from him the moment his parents stopped being parents.

He made his way back upstairs and got dressed throwing on the school uniform and grabbing his bag. Natsu sat downstairs at the table with cereal and cartoons on the Tv.

"You're not going to eat Sho?" Natsu asked shoving another spoon full of cereal into her mouth

"I already ate" Hinata didn't have an eating disorder no, no, no of course not he ate just not often.

"Okay Sho" Natsu turned back to her cartoons Hinata laid his head on the cold table.

He wasn't ready for school. He wasn't ready to smile and jump up at every call of his name. He wasn't ready to get yelled at by Kageyama or berated by Tsukishima.

But he must live in his very own mistake he made. In the very own hell, he created for himself.

Being the sun was hard

"Natsu you ready to go?" Hinata grabbed his stuff and took the bowl from Natsu's hands and put it in the sink. Natsu ran to grab her backpack from upstairs while Hinata slipped on his shoes.

Natsu skipped down the steps with a smile on her face. "I'm ready to go now"

And just like that Hinata slipped on his clay mask with a permanent smile etched on it. Hinata closed and locked the door behind him and Natsu made their way to her elementary school. Hoping and skipping the whole way there with fun games they invented.