crack chapters

Do you

I quickly open my bedroom door with the key and hold it out for Will to walk through, he thanks me quietly and collapses onto the bed and groans. I set the bags I was holding from shopping around town on the table in my room.

"I have to go check on Theseus soon," I said, taking things out of bags and placing them on the table. In private with Will, I called her Theseus. In reality, she didn't care what we called her when we were no longer working just as long as I stuck to 'your royal highness' on duty. 

"Why? I never understood why you did that" He asks, blowing his hair out of his face as he searches through his clothes drawer. 

"You know she never sleeps so I have to see if she needs anything before, we go to bed for the night" I explain, Theseus hardly sleeping was not an understatement. Sometimes It was just painful to think about, around this time of year it always got worse. Filing out tax decollement ever since Mora pulled the 'war tax' was becoming increasingly problematic. 

"Alright love you, goodbye," William said, pulling his shirt on and buttoning up the buttons one by one. My room was cold but warm compared to the temperature outside, William slipped on a fleece-lined over-shirt gifted to him by Theseus the second month he had been here.

I cringe internally, praying the room was dark enough to hide the slight disgust on my face "I love you too". I bit my cheek, and something felt unsettled in my stomach. There was something not right, I didn't feel right, this didn't feel right. 

What was it? Every time I looked at him there was this heavy weight on my chest, I felt suffocated. William kissed me on the cheek, and I almost felt sick to my stomach, he tried to place another on my lips, but I pulled away.

"Are you okay?" He asks, his hand resting on my forearm. when he had put it there, I don't know. 

"Yes," At least I think I am. William looks at me and his eyebrows furrow together like he was thinking. I had seen him do that face too many times, where his eyebrows furrow and his eyes blank and he just stares.

"You sure?"

I hold in a sigh before nodding "Yes William" His full body flinches like he had just gotten in the worst trouble possible at the use of his full name.

"Sorry" He winces looking away, I sigh out right instead of in my head like I wish I had.

"It's alright, but I've got to go," I say, my nails were digging into my palms. I wish they were bleeding, so I had a faster excuse to leave. I don't know why I had picked up this habit, my palms now almost had permanent crescent indents from my nails. 

Will tightens his grip on my forearm "Can't you stay?" He almost whines, I shake my head and he mumbles something under his breath. I still needed to do my rounds around the castle before I could even go back to my room.

I felt the look of disgust almost drown my face before I stopped it. "No," I say pulling my arm away, it sounded harsher than I meant it to be. I place a kiss on his cheek hoping it would suffice enough to keep him quiet. "Goodbye"

He mumbles another goodbye and I love you. I say it back when my back is turned to him, and he can't see the wince on my face. I pull open my bedroom door and close it softly.

What is wrong with me?

I lightly knock on Theseus's door before she says a quick come in. I open the door and take a step in before shutting it. She looks up at me, for once there's not a million papers surrounding her, and she's quietly flipping through a book. 

"Do you need anything?" I ask, having not been around all day I don't know what the other butlers have done for her or around the palace. 

She shakes her head. "No thank you" I nod and she's still looking at me. "How was your time with Will?" She asks, I couldn't tell if she actually cared about what happened or not. I couldn't even tell if she cared for Will, maybe she did and maybe she didn't.