𝙍𝙀𝘿 // 𝘽𝙄𝙇𝙇𝙄𝙀 𝙀𝙄𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙃 𝙁𝘼𝙉𝙁𝙄𝘾𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉

ivy+andrew?

blue

just like i expected, the night was clear and i was sent back home with some medication in case my fever goes back up. billie came to pick me up and we immediately headed to the arena for sound check, we were already behind schedule.

i can't stop thinking about what billie said yesterday. she was planning on marrying me. i have no problem with that, i want to marry her fine ass too, i mean i hope i end up with her, but i guess my mind instantly went to marriage equals love and do i love her? is it too soon to love her?

i have no idea. the last time i was in a relationship i was seventeen and it only lasted for six months. i don't remember most of it to be honest except the fact that she cheated.

let's see, billie is the first thing i think of when i wake up. she's annoying but the good kind that you love. i care a lot about her and she cares a lot about me. she's understanding and super kind, she's cute and i really really really like her. like a whole gay panic hits when i see her.

...do i love her?

it's okay if i don't yet, i'm getting there. it's still soon. we've known each other for about four months, simped over each other from day one, but we've been dating for just a week. no need to panic.

i know one thing for sure. i'm not having sex with her until i know that i love her. it's just something i decided because of the whole one night stands history that i have. i don't want us to just have sex. i want to, i don't know how to word it correctly, but kinda... like...make love?

"how are you feeling? do you think the fever is gonna come back up? if you start feeling like shit just tell me and rest at the green room, okay?" billie said as soon as she parked the car.

"i'm fine, you don't have to worry. i got my medicine with me if anything ends up happening." i pulled out the bag of drugs.

"cool drugs!" billie said while exiting the car. she waited for me to meet her at the hood of the car, we linked hands and walked up to the building together.

"on a scale of one to ten how excited are you for tomorrow?" i asked billie while we walked to the green room.

"a billion times more than your weak ass scale, that's how much i'm excited for tomorrow. at the same time don't want to get my hopes up and then not liking the first show which will make me think that the whole tour shows are going to be shit too." billie replied.

"i would want to tell you otherwise but that's exactly the way i think and i don't lie." i shrugged.

"i don't believe that." she squinted her eyes at me.

"what! i never ever lied to you, i simply didn't reveal the truth! whenever you asked something i never lied i always replied with you'll know later or i'll tell you later." i built my case.

"you should lie, i hate when you tell me 'you'll know later.'" she told me.

"i hate lying and i also hate hiding the truth which is why i eventually reveal it." i replied.

"that's a good thing i guess." billie rolled her eyes at me and opens the green room door.

"there you guys are!" ivy's face lit up as soon as she saw us. "you good blue?"

"yeah, just a fever and the doctors prescribed me some medicine, i'm fine now." i assured her.

"that's good, i'm glad to hear that. now you can finally focus on tomorrow's show! i'm so excited for you guys, especially you blue, i want to see you after your first show. i'm so glad i'm here." ivy said waaaay too fast, i've noticed she does that when she's excited and she sometimes claps her hands during a sentence too.