𝙍𝙀𝘿 // 𝘽𝙄𝙇𝙇𝙄𝙀 𝙀𝙄𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙃 𝙁𝘼𝙉𝙁𝙄𝘾𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉

who's fiona?

blue

"does dad ever talk about mom? like before she..." i asked jasmine as we were baking cookies for tomorrow's gathering at dinner. dad invited billie and her family over, lucas will be joining us too.

"no, not really. but he did mention some stuff here and there when we were doing something that reminded him of her. she was his first love and he had two children from her, so i don't mind hearing those cute stories, frankly i kind of want to hear more." jasmine admitted.

"can you tell me something?" i bit my lip.

"oh honey if you want to know your mother better and know what she had with your dad i think you should ask richard, not me." she shook her head.

"i know, i just thought i should try my luck with you before i go to him." i sighed.

"talk to me, what's going on?" jasmine asked as she started to shape the dough into circles.

"i'm scared." i sighed. "i'm scared that if we finally get to have a relationship with mom it's not going to be what we want it to be. what if i hate her? what if she's just a slightly different asshole than she already is when not sober?"

"you talked to her right? when she was just getting sobber? before you left for tour?" jasmine raised a brow.

"i mean yeah, but she was- she didn't look like herself and she was telling me how awful she feels and how much she loved me and cole. but i- i just blocked everything she said out of my brain. i don't believe her."

"keep going."

"i want to believe her and maybe if i knew who she used to be, maybe i'll have a better time learning to forgive her and have a little bit of hope that i don't think is false hope." i put another perfect ball of dough onto the pan.

"yeah then you really have to talk to your dad honey." she nodded.

"but how am i supposed to tell him that? like do i just go up to him and be like "hey richard! mind telling me about your wife that you had two beautiful girls from but then she decided to become an alcoholic and left you to take care of the girls all alone so you divorced her? i'm sure she was real nice and sweet years ago!" no i'm not going to do that, it's weird." i shook my head.

"she's your mom, it's not weird."

"doesn't cole talk to you about things like this? like about mom? because i feel like i'm the only one that's always wondering shit and overthinking everything." i sighed.

"she does talk to me but you do more often. pretty sure she got sick of me after living with me for years on end, she needs a little break." jasmine chuckled. "why? don't you talk about it together?"

"we do, we did a million times, cried together a million more." i answered. "but we're not the same as we used to be. i have a girlfriend she has a boyfriend, i have some else to talk to and not to mention i'm in therapy."

"didn't you have a three day sleep over with her a week ago?" she frowned.

"like i said jassy, it's not the same." i walked over to the sink and washed my hands, while she placed the tray in the oven.

"that makes me sad." she pouted.

"why?" i laughed.

"cause you're growing apart. you two were inseparable even when you were half way across the country." she explained.