Should′ve never let you go

Falling

It's crazy, crazy how life plays. I thought I was happy. I firmly believed that everything will now turn for the better. Wrong. I didn't open up to anyone and preferred to keep my thoughts to myself. Who should I tell that I plan to write Harry. How should I do that anyway? Instagram? A simple "hey" would probably be lost in all the messages and even if a "read" were there at some point, I would not even know if he runs his account himself, let alone whether he would answer me at all. Who knows if he still remembers me. It would be another stab in the heart if no message came back. On the other hand, there are no further ways to get to him. I hadn't seen his entire family in forever and couldn't just ask for his number, not now that he was just before the peak of his career. His mother would probably think that I want to contact him because of the glory. I probably had to forge a new plan. I'm sure I have to see him, live, maybe he's not as cool as I remember it from before and maybe my thoughts and feelings will finally disappear and I can concentrate on the here and now. My company and my family. Well, so the plan is that I try to get tickets for his new tour. As I said, it's crazy how life plays. So at the age of 25, I'm trying to get to the front row at a concert, where probably 90% of the girls are 18 years old. But I shouldn't bother me about that. The next question is, what do I do when I see him? What happens afterwards? Somehow nothing fits together. I'm sitting here on my sofa, it's 2 o'clock in the morning, my boyfriend is working and I'm thinking about how to contact Harry Styles. What will I say to my boyfriend? Questions about questions that torment me now and don't let me sleep again. Nothing new, my days consist of coffee and work. There has been no room for sleep for weeks. In between, these daydreams. Everyone is now asking me if I'm fine, a short yes and everyone is calm, what it looks like in me? Nobody knows. I'm often not even sure if I know exactly myself. I stare out the window, quietly the summer rains against our big window. The road is brightly illuminated by the moon. Music is the only thing that just briefly travels me out of my mind. Falling from Harry styles, "well, great, that's what i was missing right now" I sighed quietly into the dark blue blanket that I had pulled up to my chin. "Alexa, louder" I shouted, I couldn't make it over my heart to stop this song now, I listened to his voice, which I would probably recognise again among 1000 others and the emotional text until I slowly fell asleep to his lines...