Should′ve never let you go

Ticket

The days go by slower. It feels like time is standing still. Steve makes so much effort, he buys me my favourite flowers, cooks for me and goes out with me. What about me? I play my role, very well. No one has noticed anything so far. I took a break from work, an advantage if you are self-employed. And I think more and more often of Harry, damn. I tried to displace it but it doesn't work. I don't want to hurt Steve, why now? Why when we just moved in here and everything seemed so perfect? And then the day came, today the happiness should be on my side. I've been looking for tickets for Harry's show in Wembley for weeks. I once again lay outside on a chair in our large garden, which I designed with a lot of love, scrolled through different pages and discovered tickets for Harry's concert! Front row! I completed the purchase as quickly as possible and made a little pleasure dance. I told Steve that I just liked Harry's music, so I always heard it. Really not bad. Harry used to have a talent for writing wonderful texts and captivating people with it. Steve even got all the albums and vinyls for me. If he knew. Whenever he came home with a new cd, I accepted it gratefully and stored it in the brown living room cabinet, the guilty conscience was too big. When Steve came from work, I felt a lot of joy And threw me around his neck. "I have a ticket!" I laughed and was really happy again for the first time in a long time, I knew I would see Harry. The man who still drove me so crazy without knowing it. Steve was happy with me, but seemed a little disappointed that I had only received one ticket. It was better to go alone, because he would certainly notice something. I couldn't think of anything else, the concert was not far away. It should only take two weeks, then I saw him again for the first time after 9 years. Crazy, he just went at the time. It was easier for both of us, without much goodbye. He just left and didn't come back. How would it be this time? In the evening, Steve and I lay in bed. Anyone who now thinks we would cuddle close to each other and fall asleep romantically together is wrong. Everyone lay with their backs to each other, there were no tenderness for a long time. Maybe a stroke on the back, there was nothing more in it. Our relationship had fallen asleep, we were like an old couple who have been married for 50 years. So we lay next to each other. I was on my cell phone, looked at the news and read something about Harry. "Harry styles and his new girlfriend in London" headline over headline and everything revolved around Harry and an unknown young woman. The two were seen very close in London. There it was again, this feeling in the stomach, a mixture of fear and grief. And again I wondered what if?