The outsiders smutt/preference

Here with me- johnny

(There is a quote in here from the book ' The things I didn't say in therapy by Logan Duane)

TW: su!s!de, guns

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He's gone.. Johnny's really gone... I hug pony as we sob in front of Johnny's lifeless, johnny was the first person I've ever loved he was my rock. Dallas was crying facing away from us it was hard for all of us but especially hard for dally, johnny was practically his brother and dally didn't have a very good home life so johnny was the only one he had left.

I looked back at all the wonderful memories I had with Johnny, all the times he made me laugh and smile, all the times we stayed at the lot and talked for hours. I grip pony's shirt tightly making his shirt wet.

"Come on y/n let's get out of here.." pony whispers in my ear I look up at pony then at Johnny's body he looked so peaceful i look back at pony and nod he grabs my shoulder and we walk away.

We make it back to the Curtis house and walk through the door "pony,y/n where have you been?" Darry asks sternly neither of us answer we just look down, Darry sat up and looked at both of us with a sympathetic look "J-Johnny's dead.." pony crooked out I couldn't hold it anymore I start breaking down hitting my knees on the floor curling up in a ball, Darry kneeled down and put his hand on my back "it's ok y/n.. he's in a better place now.." i look at him with tears rushing down my face "fuck off Darry..." he looked at me shocked, I never swore especially at Darry.

I sat up looking down not making eye contact with anyone

"Do not tell me that "he's in a better place" when he should he here with me!" I yell, I look at pony "he should be here with all of us.." Darry put his hand on my shoulder "look y/n I know you really fancied johnny but he's gone now and it's gonna be hard for all of us.." i slap away is hand and run out the door to the lot.

I get to r to he lot and sit down on the old car seat and start thinking about him.. his beautiful smile and his bright brown eyes, his greased hair that covered his forehead, his amazing laugh and his warm personality all came hitting me like a truck.. I can't do this anymore... I walk over and lift a small part of the seat pulling out a gun.. it was the gun that dally gave Johnny pony and I when Johnny killed bob. I put a few bullets in and I hold it up to my head... I then think about Darry and pony and the rest of the gang...I lower the gun down and cry even harder..

Johnny wouldn't have wanted this...

He'd want me to live..

But I can't live without him..

I place the gun on my lap and look at the sky at all the stars one caught my eye in particular it was bright and big, I masked over all the other stars and I think of Johnny shining up in there catching my attention out of all the other stars in the sky.. I miss him so much.

"Hey there stranger.." I look up and see him

Johnny...

But how?...

It didn't matter I run up and tackle him in a hug making me cry harder "Johnny is it really you?" I say in his chest "yes love it's me.." he strokes my hair "but how? You d-died." He looks at me with his beautiful brown eyes "y/n.." he looks above me and points at me? My lifeless body... I actually did it..

I look back at Johnny "now you can stay here with me.." he smiles "always and forever.." I give him a passionate kiss craving his love "I love you so much y/n.." He says as we pull away "I love you more Johnny cade..forever and always.."