𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐓 𝐈𝐓 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 [ 𝙍𝘼𝙉 𝙃𝘼𝙄𝙏𝘼𝙉𝙄 ]

VII

we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl , year after year.

Pink Floyd-wish you were here

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Hirano judette

or jude

as everybody calls her , especially
y/n, she loved to call her jude  , she was a good person, she's been through a lot yet , she always helped people, especially homeless people , since she's been through that too , she was strong and at same time kind and soft , no matter how y/n can say about her , it won't be enough to describe such an incredible person.

this person now was no longer here , here is y/n staring at jude's grave , she missed her , alot.

y/n sat there in front of the grave , trying to find a comfortable position to sit in since she was in pain ,she was not okay, she felt pain in her belly , especially in the wound area , an insupportable pain , it made her sweat a lot , you can see drops of sweat on her face and forehead.

she kinda wished she listened to Ran , she should've stayed at bed , but there's no going back now , she's just gonna stay here a bit until she's fine , then walk back home and eat , then get some rest.

that was her plan , but well it didn't go as she desired, her state only got worse , she was shivering, probably she had a fever , but she didn't notice that .

she just stayed there looking at the grave in front of her and wondering, why did she have that dream when she was unconscious, it was really starting to get on her nerves, those dreams , those memories , she was trying to runway from them , to forget them , to act like she never experienced them , but it's getting worse.

she needs some kind of distraction, drugs? sanzu definitely can share with her , but it didn't feel like her , like yasha , she took drugs sometimes but she didn't like their affect on her , it's like it erase who she truly is , she doesn't want that , she wants to be herself, just with no trauma and no memories, but well her trauma was part of her now , and it will keep hunting her until her last day on this earth.

she kinda wished jude was here , it was so much better when she was here , y/n loved jude , a lot , romantically . and jude loved y/n back the same way , but they never got the chance to confess their love to eachother, they never got the chance to show their love to eachother , they never got the chance to do anything as a couple , it's like y/n found something she really longed for , which is love , and then , BAM , gone , everything is back to the way it was before , grey , dull , tasteless, painful , and depressing.