Bungou Stray Dogs One Shots

Random

Just some random shit

Atsushi walked into the office then he noticed a spider crawling around. He immediately trapped it under a cup as the others walked in.

"Atsushi?" Kunikida asked, frowning as he noticed the said one has put a cup on the ground.

"There was a spider and I trapped it" Atsushi explained. Dazai suddenly went out of the room and came back with two more identical cups. They looked at him curiously before Kunikida suddenly realized what his partner is going to do.

"Dazai, no-"

Dazai shuffled the three cups, miraculously keeping the spider in one of them. They stared at the three cups in horror, not sure which to pick up and put back in the kitchen. Finally Tanizaki picked up the left cup and all of them held their breaths, only to let it out again when no spider come out crawling. They would ask Ranpo which cup, if only he was here. He had went off to a crime scene with Kenji as his guide.

Finally Atsushi and Kyouka grabbed the two last cups and picked them up, to reveal no spider.

"Eh? Where's the spider?"

They looked at Dazai. The brunette shrugged.

"How would I know? I didn't take it out. You were watching me"

Atsushi held the cup up to his face to peer inside. The spider landed on his face.

A few seconds of silence before Atsushi freaked out and nearly everyone bolted away from him. Yosano came in and was surprised to see nearly everyone not in their desks and Atsushi running around with a spider on his face. She went up to him and removed the spider in a second and threw it outside without a second thought. Atsushi thanked her a lot of times but stopped mid way when they heard a scream outside. Looks like the spider had landed on someone else outside. They went back to their work as if that happens everyday.

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"Alright who did it?" Chuuya demanded, walking in. The Port Mafia members look at him confused.

"I know one of you has thrown away one of my hats. I saw it in the trash bin. Who did it, I just want to know"

"God forbid someone throw Chuuya's hats…" Kouyou mumbled into her arm. Akutagawa froze, realizing that the fabric he stepped on was one of Chuuya's hats. He threw it away because he thought since it was ruined no one would want it. Tachihara noticed the panicked look on his face and leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"Act dumb"

"Akutagawa, are you the one?" The ginger questioned, noticing the panicked look. The young executive thought for a few seconds before replying.

"Who's Akutagawa?"

"NOT THAT DUMB" Tachihara screamed-whispered in his ear.

(Ok I was inspired by D.O.A incorrect coutes by h3dge_ho3 for this)

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"Hello?" Atsushi picked up the office's phone.

"We have one of your colleagues. Pay us ￥10000 or you won't see him."

"Which one?"

"We don't know his name"

"May I have a description?"

"Brown hair, light brown coat"

"Oh, you don't have Dazai-san. Dazai-san has you"

"Wait what do you mean by that-"

"Goodbye!" Atsushi hung up.

"Who's that?" Kunikida questioned, looking at him from his seat.

"Just someone who kidnapped Dazai-san" Atsushi replied, going back to his seat.