You changed me

Take a Break

"Jay there you are," he heard, followed by the door opening and closing, "I was looking everywhere, I didn't know where Jordan would spit you out, I guess I should have checked your dorm room. Hey are you alright?"

Jay sat up on his bed, his eyes lingering on Xavier, studying him.

"Darling?" He asked, stepping closer and sitting next to him on the bed, "Is everything ok? Did Jordan say something? Hey she's just upset right now-"

"Xavier are you happy with me?" He asked, watching Xavier's expressions carefully.

He looked confused by the question, tilting his head and taking his hand.

"Of course I'm happy with you," Xavier said, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Do you have nightmares of me?"

This time Xavier reacted in the way Jay thought he was going to. He tensed up, sitting up a little straighter. He didn't let go of Jay's hand though, not that he could complain.

"I have nightmares about a lot of things Jay, they don't mean anything," Xavier assured him, rubbing gentle circles on the back of his hand.

"Are you scared that I'm going to hurt you?" He asked, standing suddenly and pulling away from Xavier, "What happens in your nightmares with me?"

"Jay, relax," Xavier said, getting to his feet as fell and reaching out to him, "I know it's not real, and you wouldn't hurt me-"

"I've already hurt you Xavier!" 

Xavier paused retracting his hand the slightest bit at how Jay raised his voice. There was visible confusion on his face.

"Xavier I hit you, I used you to get that stupid fucking wand, I put a love spell on you, how can you possibly be ok with me now?" Jay asked, his voice progressively getting louder and more frustrated as he went on.

Xavier on the other hand tensed up, his voice getting softer as he spoke again.

"Jay, please, just calm down alright?" He said, though he noticeably stopped trying to get closer, taking a step back instead, "I've looked past that-"

"You shouldn't!" He yelled, "This isn't something you should just forgive!"

"Jay-"

"Xavier, all that I've done is put you in danger!"

"You freed me-"

"And what's the cost of that?" Jay snapped, "What that you could be unstable? That you might not be able to control your magic because of what I did?"

"Jay, you said it yourself, he might have been lying-"

"And what about you being on the Isle in the first place?" He continued, "You could have gotten hurt, thank god you didn't, but that would have been my fault to."

"Jay I was fine!"

"I put you in danger! And what about what happened with Jafar-"

Xavier took a deep breath before approaching him again, reaching up to cup Jay's face.

"That was the furthest thing from your fault," Xavier said, "I went after him on my own to get Aziz, you had nothing to do with it. Now where is all this coming from? Why are you letting it consume your thoughts now?"

For a moment, Jay considered telling Xavier about what his sister told him, but he decided against it. If he was going to do this, there would be no need to sever the relationship between Xavier and his sister.

"Xavier, I think it's best if you and I..." He trailed off, watching as the kind smile on Xavier's face faltered, a look of devastation filling his eyes.

He couldn't do this to him. What was he supposed to say? 

'It's best if we never see each other again?'

'I never want to see you again if it guarantees your safety?'

"If we took a break," Jay finished, settling on that, hoping that Xavier would process that better than just straight leaving him, "For both of our sake's."

He wasn't dumping him, but Xavier looked just as heartbroken as if he did.

"If you think that would be best," Xavier said quietly, pulling away from him and clearing his throat, "I forgot why I came here, Aziz's parents are here? They wanted to see you."

His voice was unnaturally flat as he stepped away, his eyes glued to the ground.

"Xavier-"

Xavier shook his head, refusing to look at him as he went to the door.

"I should probably go. I have work to catch up on with Ben."

Fine time for me to remember that Xavier is a sorta high up person in the Auradonian government-