Obligation

19. Forgiveness

Shawn didn't realise how difficult it would be to let his ego down in front of her and apologize for his actions until she came completely into her senses. She was the same Camila he used to pity, now why he was feeling nervous all of a sudden. He didn't even do breakfast when she was watching camila sipping the orange juice, he made for her, trying to muster up the courage to ask her for her forgiveness.

"Ugh!!" He uttered but stopped again. Sitting on the chair right in front of the couch she was laid on, he was fidgeting with his own fingers. "Um I wanted to say something to you." He finally started.

Camila looked up at him with interest. She just talked to her sister who told her about her mother's health so now she was feeling satisfied.

"I- That day- I mean..." trying to find better words, he didn't know from where to start while Camila's big brown eyes were looking at him intensely waiting for him to speak which made him more nervous.

"Fine! I behaved really bad that day. I wish I could take my words back but what's done is done and I know my actions don't deserve apology but I'm still here asking you to forgive cuz I'm really really ashamed of my behaviour with you." He suddenly decided to spill it all.

Camila didn't respond for a while just stared at him in shock, like she was looking at the 8th wonder of the world.

"What?" He shrugged. "Do I have some kinda horns on my head?"

"No...I mean are you really saying this to me? Or is it your new trick?"

"For God's sake. I've been here looking after you for 2 days. Didn't go anywhere nor eaten or slept properly just cuz I was guilty. I'm here apologising to you didn't even get my breakfast."

"Oo...k!" Was the only thing she forced from her mouth.

"What do you mean by ok? Didn't my apology mean anything to you?" Shawn was annoyed by her now.

"You are not doing any favour to me. I deserved that apology." She stated.

"Yeah I know but did you forgive me?" He asked softly now.

"No.."

"What?"

"No means No.... means you did apologise but I will decide whether to forgive you or not."

"You must be kidding." He scoffed, standing up.

"I'm not kidding. I'm still not over what you said to me. You insulted me. Called me slut and treated me like I have no self respect. Did you realise your mistake? I guess not cause I don't see any shame on your face right now. You are asking for my forgiveness like it's something compulsory for me to give you for your self-satisfaction." Her face was flushed now as blood started rushing through her veins.

Shawn looked in surprise at her sudden outburst and some truth she just spat out.

"You are right." He sighed, then sat down on the floor near her to match her height as she was sitting straight on couch. "I'm sorry!" Putting his weight on one knee hinging the couch, he placed his hand above the comforter covering her thighs. "I shouldn't have misbehaved. I'm really ashamed Camila, you have no idea what I've gone through when you disappeared suddenly."

"What have you gone through? Why would you care even if I'd die-"

"Camila!" He said a little loud to shut her up. "Why you think so wrong of me? Am I that horrible as a boss?"

For the first time Camila find Shawn being really innocent.

"Probably I was very rude to you but that's how I am. I am Shawn Mendes who usually don't care about anyone's feelings and is so egoistic but still he's here sitting on his knees begging you to accept his apology and I don't even know why the hell he's doing this." The last words he said hating himself and his position in front of her.

"Because.." Camila said with an empathetic look in her eyes. "Maybe he isn't that egoistic as he thinks of  himself. Maybe he puts that facade out there for people to think strong of him. Maybe he does care about everyone's feelings but pretend to feel nothing. "

"Do you think he is a good man indeed?" He asked with playfulness.

"If he wants to be a good man. He should stop pretending that he's not." She stated.

"And if he just didn't pretend in front of someone , shouldn't they accept that he is actually a good person." He was positive.

"The real question is that...if their acceptance would make any difference?"

"What kinda difference they want from him?" He seemed serious.

"To always show his true self to them." She said looking straight in his eyes unintentionally not realising how deep she went.

"Right" Shawn chuckled. "You know you talk very nice actually. I would love to hear you more." He said smiling at her which made Camila blush. She didn't say anything just looked away as smile came creeping on her lips.

He was sitting so close to her. That sight really made his heart skip a beat.

"So I'm forgiven? Am I?"  He continued as he wanted to hear more from her. Somehow, he found her words really calming.

"Perhaps" She replied looking down in her lap where her hands were mingling with each other. "Just because you took care of me, made me drink, didn't even have breakfast  and bent down on your knees. "

"Thank God! All my hard work was fruitful." He chuckled again while standing straight. "Now I'll go get something to eat." He turned to go but then remembered something. "We need to go back in the evening cuz I have to go to the office tomorrow. We'll go to your apartment before so you can grab your things and then to my-"

"Wait. I won't stay at your apartment. If that was what you gonna say."

"You are..." He announced. "Until you fully recover."

"I'm doing fine."

"I said what I said...you can't argue with your boss." He turned around walking away.

"You are my boss. Don't try to be my dad!!" She said loudly as he was walking away. "I  know you feel guilty but this will make me more mad at you!!"

He just ignored her protest. He wasn't doing it because he was guilty. He was doing it cuz he had to keep her safe from that blackmailer and his apartment was the safest place for her till he would resolve that matter. Shawn was really an arrogant man  and wasn't used to care about people that much. He hardly felt protective for someone like for his mother and sister but if he once cared, he'd do everything in his power to protect them.

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