A Storm Is Brewing

Future Plans

After another cup of tea and a slice of cake, Leah and I headed back to our hotel. Mum had made a conscious effort to involve Leah in our conversations, reminiscing about my childhood and sharing embarrassing stories. Leah seemed to forget everything that had happened, and her willingness to forgive in order to ensure she created a connection with my mum warmed my heart.

Once in bed, we simultaneously turned on our sides to face each other. Leah's hand found my hair, while mine traced circles on her collarbone; she placed a delicate kiss on my forehead before holding my gaze lovingly and smiling at me.

"Talk to me." Her soft tone was comforting.
"What about?"
"Tonight. I know you're processing it; I can see the cogs turning in your head. Unload it. I'm here."
"Did your mum really struggle with it?"
"Not really; she did say she was worried, though. I might've exaggerated."

Leah began to giggle slightly as she recounted her exaggeration to my mum, which in turn caused me to laugh along with her. I connected my lips to hers for a moment before I spoke again.

"What do you want—in the future, I mean?" I asked, dreading the answer.
"I just want to be happy—happy with you, married, with kids, and for us both to be healthy."
"Okay."

I have no idea what else to say. I'll just cuddle her.

"Hey you, what's wrong?" Leah's voice showed concern, and she tightened her grip around my back.
"It's nothing. Don't worry, Le."
"It's something; tell me, babe."
"I can't." I sighed.
"Of course you can, silly."
"What if my ideal future looks different from yours?"
"In what way?"

Deep breath, Sophie. Deep breath.

"I don't want them." I blurted out.
"Don't want wh - oh - kids. I see." Leah trailed off.
"Yeah."
"Okay, no kids then; yeah, that's okay." I could hear the disappointment in her voice.
"I don't want you to not have everything you dreamed of, Le."
"I have everything I dreamed of right now; the rest are just little additions that I thought about."

Leah snuggled her head into my neck, trying to pretend she wasn't disappointed by this revelation. I worried that she would settle for something less than what she wanted, but her grip on me told me otherwise. I'm glad that she didn't ask me why, though; I didn't want to explain my reasoning behind it. I just wouldn't make a good parent.

Leah slept soundly that night; I didn't. I couldn't help but think of everything that had taken place on this short trip to Ireland. I worried that I wasn't enough and that Leah deserved something less dramatic than my family set up, but in the end I realised that it was her decision. I couldn't run away just because I was afraid and insecure; if she didn't want to be with me, she would leave. We returned to London, continuing our lives together. I went back to work, and Leah went back to training. Life was good.

— — — —

3 months later

"She talked about it for weeks after; anything we told her to do was no, I'm a champion!"

Amanda had invited us round for some random Thursday night drinks as Leah and I both had Friday off for a change—not a party, more of a small gathering. We were sat around a table, Leah cringing as her mum brought out the photo album. Just after 11:30 p.m., my phone began to ring. Leah shot me a worried look as I struggled to pull it from my pocket. My heart immediately began to pound in my chest; it was Rhys. Why is he calling so late? What the fuck has happened? I excused myself from the table, rubbing my hand across Leah's shoulder as I whispered that it was Rhys.

"Rhys, what's wrong?"
"Sorry for calling so late, Soph. I need a huge favour."
"Of course, what's going on?"

Okay, I don't think anyone is dead.

"I'm meant to have Liv this weekend; her mum is away on holiday. I've just been offered a weekend's work in Cork. They're paying me an outrageous amount of money; I mean enough for me to get Liv's Christmas presents and have enough left to take her on her first holiday."
"Okay? Can't Mum or Dad take her?"
"Dad's going to Germany to some car show, Mum's away back to Dubai. Can you help?"
"Course. She could come here for the weekend. I'll pay for you to fly her here and back, both ways."
"She'll love that. I can pay you back once I get the money from this job." He let out a sigh of relief.

For Rhys to put a job before Olivia, it had to be a spectacular opportunity. Everything came after Olivia, always. A small gesture of help for him was so warranted; he had always picked up the pieces for me.

"I'll need to check with Leah, actually. She won't mind, though. You need to check with her mum too, Rhys." I laughed.
"Course. Let me know, I have to let them know by the morning and book a flight."
"Will do, I'll text you."
"Thanks, Sophie. I really appreciate it."

I went back to the door of the kitchen, motioning with my head that I needed to talk to Leah; she immediately shot up from the table and joined me in the hallway.

"What's wrong? What's happened?" She panicked.
"Nothing, Le. Don't worry." I smiled.
"Thank god." She sighed, making me laugh.
"Rhys has been offered some really good work this weekend, but he's meant to have Liv. Can she come over for the weekend? Stay with us?"
"Obviously, is that it?" Leah raised one eyebrow.
"Yeah, I just wanted to check." I laughed.
"Both of my favourite people in our house for the weekend; you didn't need to ask."

As soon as we got back to the others, Leah excitedly told them that Liv would be over for the weekend. This prompted Amanda to recall the Christmas we had spent together and how much Liv had taken to Leah. In that moment, I felt so content that Leah held such a special place in her heart for my niece.

— — — —

Liv arrived the following morning, and Rhys said a teary goodbye to her as she failed to be emotional at the prospect of being separated by the sea from him. She was simply excited for her first 'holiday', feeling like a grownup at the idea that she was going away without either of her parents. She proudly held onto Leah's hand as we walked back to the car, Leah telling her all the things we would do together during her stay.

"Can I really come watch you play?" Liv said, jumping up and down.
"Of course, Auntie Soph is going to bring you tomorrow." Leah smiled.
"Thanks, Auntie Leah." She said innocently as she clambered into the car.

I watched as Leah processed what Liv had just called her, her cheeks reddening slightly as she worried that I would react badly, but a smile growing on her face. I could tell her heart had just expanded enormously.

"Auntie Leah, it has a ring to it, doesn't it?" I smiled.
"It does." Leah grinned back.

That wouldn't be the only realisation of the weekend, though.