A Storm Is Brewing

Returning

Leah POV

I crept out of bed that morning to prevent Sophie from waking, lifting Teddy from his cot and bringing him downstairs. The usual routine of nappy change, food, lots of cuddles, and getting him washed and dressed followed, but it was a lot quieter this morning as I tried to ensure Sophie got as much sleep as possible before I left her all day for training.

By the time I was ready to shower, Sophie had woken up and was smiling at me proudly as I walked into the living room in my training tracksuit. It was these gazes from her that let me know I was still doing the right thing.

"Five minutes?" I whispered, looking at the empty sofa beside her.
"Always." She smiled, patting the seat.

She stared lovingly into my soul, tucking my hair behind my ears and placing kisses across every inch of my face.

"I'm proud of you. You know that?"
"I know, Soph. I love you."
"And you know you can come home at any time? No judgement, no argument; you need to come home. You come home."
"I know that too, Soph. I love you."
"I love you." She smiled.

As I stood up to leave, Sophie ran to the kitchen before returning with a lunchbox in her hand.

"I made you your favourite. Incase they didn't have food you liked on."

I love her.

"When did you do this?" I asked, knowing I hadn't left her side all morning.
"I got up when you fell asleep." She smiled.

I love her.

"I'm just a call away, Soph. Okay? If anything happens, you call me. They know I'll be keeping my phone on me, and when I'm on the pitch, someone will have it with them." I reassured her.
"No dirty pictures, then?" She chuckled.
"The only thing you'll have time for today is dirty nappies anyway, Soph." I chuckled back.

I kissed them both goodbye, headed to the hallway, grabbed my keys, stuffed the essentials into my kitbag, and made my way to my car. It was hard to fathom that I was travelling back to training after everything that happened with a baby seat in the back of my car and a heart full of love. The insecurities were no longer there; I had worry, but standard worry—parental worry.

"Welcome back!" The girls shouted, Rafa landing on my back.
"God, you soppy lot. Missed me that much?"
"No one agree! Her head is big enough." Katie shushed them.

The girls had been great throughout everything, from the moment they heard about Teddy's birth right up until today; nothing had been too much trouble. It wasn't how they had imagined it; we had talked about that moment when I'd return from the hospital with my baby and bring it straight to the grounds to meet them all. That never happened, though, and although they didn't actually ask me why, I knew that they knew I was struggling with it all. They accepted my lack of responses to their messages and my rejection of their calls, yet when I finally made contact, they were there. That's why today they weren't just glad to see me back; they were proud of me too.

Flashback:

"I'm just going to go get some air, Soph."

And with that, I was gone. These moments happened quite frequently, and Sophie was more than understanding. Moments when I felt my lungs weren't breathing in air, and I had to get into an open space to try and make them work again. Nothing had happened, not really. I felt silly; Mum had suggested that Sophie and I leave the hospital for the day and do something, and I had started an argument over it. What I really wanted to say was, what if I leave him for the last time, but what came out was so much the opposite of that.