A Storm Is Brewing

The Appointment

"Soph, have you seen my shoes?"
"Yeah, they're down here."

We were late. Not surprising.

"They're right there." I pointed as Leah bolted back upstairs.
"Not those ones."
"Those are fine!" I chuckled.
"With this top? I'll be two minutes."

I chuckled as I waited for her, shaking my head in disbelief. Deep down, I knew this wasn't really about the shoes, though Leah was nervous. I was, too. All of this had been talked about for such a long time, even dismissed at times. This had been something that we had thought at one point would never happen, and that made today even better for us both.

"You ready now?" I rolled my eyes as Leah appeared.
"No."
"What else could you possibly have to do?" I sighed.

Leah stepped forward, placing her hands on either side of my face and kissing me slowly but passionately.

"That. I'm ready now." She smiled, then chuckled at my blushing face.

It wasn't long before we were sitting on the opposite side of the table from a doctor, a doctor who would become someone we would pin all of our hopes on. Dr Hanway. Dr. Hanway was highly recommended by others we knew who had gone through the same process; it blew my mind that things were so easy here and so different from home. Dr. Hanway was welcoming, not in the slightest judgmental, and spoke with a positive tone, even if some of the things she said were difficult to hear. Leah interlocked our fingers and placed both our hands on her lap, rubbing her finger across my thumb.

"How are we both?" She smiled, noticing how nervous we both were.
"Fi -"
"Nerv -"
"Fine, but nervous." We chuckled after talking over each other.
"Nothing to be nervous about. What we'll do today is talk through the options and give you a complete overview of how this works. You two can go away and have a think, decide what's best for you, and when you're ready, we will begin. There are no right and wrong ways to do this; it has to be what you both want; that's the best way to ensure that it works out long term. Can I ask, have you tried any other methods before coming here? Personal donors?"
"No, nothing like that."
"Okay. Let's start with you, Sophie. Would that be okay?"
"Yeah. That's okay." I nodded, and Leah moved closer to me.

She clicked a few times with her mouse before smiling at me and placing her fingers over the keys on the keyboard, ready to type.

"Full name?"
"Sophie. Kelly. Sorry, Sophie Kelly."
"Date of Birth?"
"28th August 1995."
"Any health conditions?"
"No."
"Nothing at all? Diabetes, asthma, epilepsy?"
"Nothing."
"Okay, so the next bit is family history. Is that okay with you?"
"Yeah."
"Any health conditions in the family? By this, we mean the things I mentioned above: cancer, things like that."
"Nothing. That I know of."
"And your periods—are they regular?"
"Yeah."
"Any miscarriages or abortions in the past?"
"No."
"Okay. Are you on any form of birth control, or have you ever been? I know, obviously not for actual birth control, but sometimes the pill can be used for skin issues, things like that."
"No, not now. I did take the pill for a bit before I went to university. Mum put me on it." I chuckled.
"Okay. Do you remember which one?"
"No, sorry."
"That's okay. We can get it from your medical notes when we get them."

She finished typing, before turning to Leah and asking her the same questions. Leah was fine until the one I knew would send her south.

"Any health conditions?"
"I have endometriosis." Leah sighed, I could feel her tense up as she waited to be told this disqualified her from the treatment.
"Brilliant!"

Brilliant? Did the doctor hear her right?

"Apologies—that might've been a little insensitive. We have so many people that attend here who have been palmed off by doctor after doctor with just a bad period. It's good that you know this now, so we don't have to come to you further down the line and tell you -"
"That it won't work?" Leah asked insecurely.
"Not at all. Just that we need to be a little more patient with you. Endometriosis isn't a life sentence, Leah. It doesn't have to be. It feels like it, but it doesn't have to be. You can still have children, just as any of us can. It might just take longer. Does that make sense?"
"Yeah - thank you. Thank you." Leah smiled.
"Proud of you, Le." I whispered, watching her smile grow even further.
"Are you on birth control to help with the symptoms, Leah?"

Why isn't she answering?

"No." She mumbled, not making eye contact with me.
"Okay. Were you ever?"
"Yeah."
"When did you stop it?"
"Last month." Leah mumbled.
"Okay, was there any reason for that?"
"I didn't want to ruin my chances. That's all."
"We could've stopped it today for you. Always be wary of stopping medications on your own, sometimes an abrupt stop can cause harm." The doctor spoke softly.
"I just didn't want to leave it too close to the wedding. In case I ruined that too."

Nothing could ruin it. I could see her looking at me for my reaction, so I squeezed her hand a little to let her know I wasn't upset.

The rest of the appointment contained a lot of explaining: different methods, choices we would have to make, and that all-important question as to who would be the one hoping to carry. It was still in question, and I suppose both of us were being careful of the other's career setbacks from taking so much time off. As the appointment came to an end, Leah and I headed back out to the car. Her demeanour seemed nervous, like she wasn't sure about the things that had been said. As she put her hand on the gearstick to drive off, I reached over to stop her.

"Le?" I whispered.
"Yeah?"
"What's wrong? Was it too much?"
"No. It was perfect. I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?"
"Not telling you that I wasn't taking my medication. I promised I'd never lie to you, and here I am a few weeks before the wedding doing exactly that."
"I'm not annoyed. I'm maybe slightly irritated that you didn't feel you could tell me that, but I didn't tell you about the folic acid tablets. So I guess we're even?" I smirked.
"No. I won't ever get over the folic acid tablets." Leah said, placing her hand on her chest dramatically.
"It wouldn't have been ruining the wedding if you'd woke up that morning and felt unwell. We would've just rescheduled."
"Rescheduled? Soph, if I have to crawl down that aisle on my hands and knees to marry you, I will do it." She chuckled.

That few weeks later came quickly, and so did the problem. Christmas Eve morning brought more than festive cheer. I woke to find Leah lying on her front, legs up under her chest, and hands wrapped tightly around her stomach. I chuckled slightly when I realised she was actually asleep, but quickly realised that this must mean she was in pain. I tried not to let my mind wander, but without being able to stop it, I quickly counted 8 days. Phew. It should be gone by the day we get married. Gently waking her up, Leah groaned when she felt the pain that pulsed in the bottom of her stomach and then groaned again when she returned from the bathroom to tell me it wasn't actually here yet. She cuddled back into me for a few minutes before shooting upward and almost deafening me.

"Fuck!" She shouted.
"What is it?"
"It's only 8 days. If it doesn't come today, that's 7. What if it doesn't come until - fuck!"
"It'll come before it. I know it." I smiled.

We spent the morning cuddled up in bed, Leah falling in and out of sleep until we moved from the bed to the exact same position on the sofa.

"Want anything from the kitchen?" I asked, gently moving her off me to get up.
"No thanks." She smiled.

I raided the cupboards for a while before returning to the living room and finding Leah's head stuck in her phone.

"All good?"
"Yeah. Just googling."
"What you googling now?" I chuckled.
"How to make a period come quicker."
"And?" I asked, sitting down beside her.
"Exercise and relaxation? Like, how can you do both?"
"Could go for a walk, then get a bath?" I smiled.
"Yeah. Vitamin C, apparently."
"Hmm, I'm not sure if we have oranges in. I'll go check." I said, getting up with urgency.
"No wait - this one I can get on board with." She smirked, pulling me back down.
"What is it?"
"Sex. Lots and lots of sex." She chuckled.

As the clock struck midnight, Leah and I decided to go to bed. Her form was somewhere between happy that it was Christmas and longing for her period to arrive. We fell asleep pretty quickly, both exhausted from the unusual feeling of having done literally nothing all day. I woke at some point during the night to Leah getting back into bed, confused at the fact that I hadn't even heard her getting out in the first place. She scooped me into her arms and placed a kiss on my forehead.

"You okay?" I whispered into her neck.
"I am. It's here."
"It's a Christmas miracle!" I half-screamed with a croaky sleep voice.
"You are so cute, Soph. You make me melt." She whispered.
"Night, Le. Merry Christmas."
"Goodnight, Soph. Merry Christmas."

Five and a half more sleeps.