A Storm Is Brewing

Nightmare

After an exhausting two days of entertaining Olivia and attending Leah's WSL game, we made it to Sunday. I couldn't help but feel a little bit sad at the idea that Olivia was flying home the following morning. Having her here felt natural; it made me miss home, but it didn't make me miss it enough to want to be away from Leah nonetheless.

We spent Sunday showing Olivia the sights of London, starting with the Palace and ending with a shopping trip. Of course, this meant a full-scale fashion show when we returned to our house. Leah played songs for Olivia to walk out to in each outfit, making her giggle infectiously as she strutted along the floor. Liv and I took our places on the sofa, awaiting the promised hot chocolates from Leah. In her usual form, Liv counted the marshmallows on each to ensure she hadn't been mistreated, cuddling into Leah when she realised that she was indeed the favourite and had been gifted with 8 marshmallows in comparison to the 6 that Leah and I had. Olivia picked the movie, using us both as pillows throughout until she fell asleep. I watched as Leah affectionately stroked her hair, smiling every time she looked down at her peaceful face.

Leah carried Olivia to bed shortly after, returning to the sofa for a while before we went to bed ourselves. Exhausted from our weekend, Leah and I fell asleep almost immediately, obviously wrapped up in each other's arms. We were forced awake by a distant whimper, both confused as if we had forgotten that Olivia occupied the spare bedroom.

"I'll go." Leah smiled, kissing my head before she got out of bed.

A short time later, Leah returned with a teary eyed but smiling Olivia. She gently placed her under the covers between us before laying her head on the pillow on the opposite side of Olivia.

"What's going on, mate?" I whispered to Olivia.
"I had a bad dream, Auntie Leah said I could stay in here with you two." She smiled.

I watched again as Leah smiled to herself upon hearing the words, auntie Leah again.

"Of course you can, close your eyes. We've got you. I'll fight any monsters that try to steal you." My promise made Olivia giggle.

It wasn't long before she fell back into sleep, the only noise in the room coming from her gentle breaths. God, I miss Leah's arms holding me. I gently pushed my arm under Olivia's neck, feeling around for Leah's body until I felt her hand find mine, almost as if she were searching for my body too.

"Night, Le." I whispered.
"Night, Soph."

— — — —

The following morning, I took Olivia back to the airport to meet Rhys. Leah looked sad to be waving goodbye to her, but her training schedule meant she couldn't accompany us to the airport as we wouldn't be back on time for her to travel to the grounds. As we drove, Olivia began to talk of her love for Leah; she really had taken to her in a way that I had never witnessed before.

"She's just really nice, isn't she?"
"She is." I smiled.
"If I didn't have my Mum, I'd want to have Leah as my mum. And you."
"Why's that?"
"Well, because you have a nice house and nice cars, and we had fun. Also because Leah gave me her marshmallows when you weren't looking." She said proudly.
"Is that right?" I joked.
"Yeah, but it was a secret."

Olivia's innocence at the idea that it was still a secret, even after she had told me, made me chuckle to myself as we pulled into the airport. She jumped into my brother's arms the second she set eyes on him, ready to give him a rundown of her weekend. After a short conversation, they went on their way to catch the plane back, and I began my journey to work, calling Leah, whom I knew would be leaving the house soon to head to training.

"Hi, Liv get off okay?"
"Yes. I have a bone to pick with you." I scoffed.
"Okay?"

I waited for a second to build the suspense, trying to keep my voice as serious as possible.

"Did you give Liv your marshmallows when I wasn't looking?"
"Guilty." Leah laughed.
"Never give me your marshmallows." I playfully huffed.
"You are such a child, Soph." Leah giggled as I heard her engine start.
"Thanks, Le. You made sure she had the best weekend ever. I really love you; you know that, don't you?"
"You're being very cute; what're you after?"
"Shush. I mean it. I don't think you realise how much you mean to me."
"You can show me later."
"For fuck sake, Leah. I'm trying to concentrate on the road."
"You're the one who always says long drives are boring; I'm just being the dutiful fiancé."
"You're an imp. I'll see you tonight, Le. I love you so much."
"I love you, Soph. Always."

The day passed quite quickly, and the Young case was coming together nicely. We managed to secure a court date for the following month, allowing me time to compile our final pieces of financial evidence before he willingly halved his accounts with his ex-wife. Heading home, my mind replayed my conversation with Olivia. Leah would make a great mum. She was right.

I burst through the front door, a woman on a mission to hold Leah to her word so that I could show her how much she meant to me tonight. It wasn't long before she had taken me into her arms, pushing me against any wall she could find as our clothes lined a trail to the bedroom.

— — — —

"Fucking hell, Soph." Leah struggled to control her breathing as I crawled into her grasp.
"I thought about that alllll day." I laughed.
"Me too." Leah kissed the top of my head.

We spoke about Leah's new training schedule, the Young case, and wedding venues for a while. I knew that something was burning inside my voice box—something I never thought I would say.

"Le, there's something I want to talk to you about." I began.
"Anything, Soph."
"I used to want kids, years ago."
"What changed?"

I noticed that Leah didn't loosen her grip around me; she didn't sigh, nor did she pull away from me as I once again reiterated that I didn't want children.

"I've watched so many people come through the justice system because they weren't raised right. Not all of them have really loving parents; some just lose themselves. A lot of them, though, had really awful upbringings. It makes you realise how much responsibility there is. I'm good with Liv; I know that, but I can't imagine being good with a child for their entire life. I still make so many mistakes in my own life. Does that make sense?"
"I get it. I think you would be, but I'm never going to push you into that, Soph. If it's just me and you forever, I'm more than happy with that."
"Have you ever thought about fostering?"
"Have you?"

I sensed what Leah was doing by returning my question; I knew she didn't want to get her hopes up. I knew that she didn't want to say yes, and feel like she was forcing me into something. Her consideration and carefulness caused an eruption of butterflies in my stomach.

"Not until today, really."
"Why today?"
"I don't know; we had a really good weekend with Olivia. She was so happy when she went back to her home today, it just got me thinking."
"It's certainly something that we can talk about, Soph. I just worry."
"About what?" I questioned.
"That you're thinking of these things because you want me to be able to be some kind of mum, without having to have a family. I don't want you to worry that I might leave and have those things with someone else."
"I think I want that too, though. I don't want to risk bringing another human into this world and messing them up somewhere along the line. A lifetime is a really long time. The idea that there are so many little humans already out there that need love, support, and some guidance until they can find their forever family makes me feel like we should do something about it. Liv said, we have a nice house and nice cars, and you gave her your marshmallows." I quoted Olivia, making Leah laugh.
"Let's find out more about it then. I like the sound of it, though. Giving them the love they need until they find the right people to give it to them forever."
"Maybe it'll be right for us; maybe it won't." I smiled into her chest.
"Maybe, Soph." I could sense the hopefulness in Leah's voice.

We stayed in a comfortable silence for a while longer, both happy to be in each other's arms after our night spent separated by Olivia's little frame.

"We should probably go make some food, Soph. It's 8pm." Leah chuckled.
"I hate adulting." I puffed.
"I know, babe, it's so hard. Takeaway?"
"Takeaway." I grinned.

That was the conversation that started the journey of a lifetime.