A Storm Is Brewing

Back as a Four

By the time we finally escaped Kyra's grips, more than a year had passed since our separation. It felt easy to think we could slip back into normality, but we had to keep in mind the impact the disruption in routine had on the kids the previous year, and take steps to prevent a repeat of that. Leah gradually transitioned back to living at home, starting with weekends and eventually settling in for good. 

That brought us to December 1st.

The boys were energetically running around the living room, fully engrossed in the imaginative world they created on the daily. Leah and I had planned to take them to see Santa arrive at the Christmas market that evening, but agreed we wouldn't tell them until the actual day to prevent the repetitive when questions.

"Guess what I've heard?"
"What?" The stopped playing to climb up beside me.
"There's a special guest arriving at the Christmas market tonight."
"Who?"
"No one knows, but I've heard it might be Santa!"
"No way!"
"Yep!"
"Can we go? Please!"
"Will we ask Mummy?"

They nodded eagerly, running off to find Leah, who was still unpacking her stuff two weeks later.

"Mummy! Can we go see Santa tonight?"
"Santa? He lives in the North Pole, silly!" Leah teased.
"He is going to the... where's he going, mummy?" Teddy jumped up and down.
"The market." I whispered.
"The market!"
"No, he isn't!"
"He is! Isn't he?"
"That's what I heard." I held my hands up.
"There's no way Santa will be at the market near our house!" Leah continued winding them up.
"Can we go see?"
"Please mummy!" Leo chimed in.
"Fine! But I don't think he'll be there."
"You'll see!" Teddy grinned.

The rest of the afternoon was filled with different plans to keep them occupied during the long wait between their initial anticipation and the start of the event. Both of them wrote a letter to Santa, although Leo's was mostly a collection of doodles on a sheet of paper, decorated with chocolate smudges.

We eventually made our way to the Christmas markets, grateful that other families were considerate of our privacy and allowed us to spend time together as a family, even if they did occasionally glance over and whisper about Leah's presence to one another.

"Lots of people must've heard he was coming." Teddy spoke excitedly.

After a while, the distant jingling of reindeer bells reached their ears, and the boys couldn't hide their excitement. Teddy was full of energy, bouncing and cheering while tugging at my coat. Meanwhile, Leo was comfortably jiggling around in Leah's arms, eagerly pointing towards the lights in the distance.

"Santa! Teddy, Santa is here!" Leo shouted.
"He's really here!" Teddy grinned.

Just a few months ago, I had come to accept that these kinds of moments would still occur, but they would be overshadowed by the anxiety of being near Leah, knowing that we were no longer a couple. Instead, we found ourselves huddled together as a family of four, my hand on Teddy's shoulder keeping him safe, Leo cradled in Leah's arms in disbelief that the real Santa was just metres from him, and Leah's free arm wrapped around my back protectively where it was meant to be.

"I can't believe it!" Leah gasped dramatically.
"Told you!" The boys chuckled in unison.

The queue to see him didn't take as long as I thought it would, meaning that the boys didn't have to contain their excitement for long. The two shared a bond like no other; they were just two years apart in age, but Teddy's premature birth meant he was small for his age, leaving the two boys to often be mistaken for twins. Teddy was protective, though, always wanting to play the role of big brother, and despite his excitement to talk to Santa, that night was no different.