A Storm Is Brewing

There She Is

Waking up the following morning, the first thing I noticed was my lack of a sore head, followed by the lack of Leah beside me. Scrambling for my phone to check the time, I rummaged around under the covers for a few seconds before the bedroom door opened.

"Oh - you're up." Leah smiled.
"What time is it?"
"8.30. How you feeling?"
"My heads not sore, so that's a start." I chuckled.
"I can go get Liv; bring her back here if you want." Leah sat on the bed, stroking her fingers through my hair.
"No, don't be silly. Thank you, though. I'm excited for this weekend."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, my two favourite people." I smiled.

The second Liv set eyes on us across the airport, her smile lit up the entire room. Leah couldn't help but whisper a loving she is just too cute as Liv aggressively waved her hand at us and strutted towards us. It wasn't long until she was in my arms, one of her arms wrapped around my neck and the other around Leah's.

"How was your flight, my monster?" I chuckled.
"Good. I missed you both."
"We missed you too." Leah smiled, rubbing her finger across Liv's cheek.

Of course, Liv hadn't forgotten my promise of a cinema trip; she spent the journey home telling us exactly what sweets she wanted, what her favourite type of popcorn was, and stories from her week at school. Today was undoubtedly the first day since Leah's surgery that I had witnessed her at ease—at ease with herself, at ease with the situation, and at ease around a trigger that reminded her of the impact of her condition—a child.

Getting out of the car at the cinema, Liv quickly took a hand from Leah and me, knowing she wasn't allowed to cross the car park without having a hold of someone. A slight glance in the direction of Leah showed the pride that washed over her face: the smile that looked like it had been painted on, her hand clutched tightly around Liv's, and the little chuckles that she would let out as Liv hopped on one foot to imitate Leah when she was injured.

"Fraser in my class is sooo jealous." She said excitedly.
"Jealous of what?" I chuckled.
"That Leah is my auntie."
"Oh yeah? Is he a fan?" I smiled, glancing at Leah.
"Yeah. He was asking me all about her." Liv said, now hopping from one foot to the other.
"What was he asking?"
"Like how rich she was, what car she had, and if her house was big. Then he didn't believe me that she was really my auntie." She exclaimed.
"What? Why not?"
"Cos I said I didn't know."
"You do know. Were you telling fibs?" Leah chuckled, sticking her tongue out at Liv.
"Maybe. But I don't really mind what kind of house or car you have. Or if you have loads of money. I just love you because you're my auntie Leah." She smiled innocently.

Cue Leah trying to choke back her tears.

"Yeah?" Leah croaked.
"Yep."
"I love you too." Leah smiled, clutching Liv's hand more tightly.

Liv quickly ran to join the queue for popcorn the second our tickets had been scanned, leaving Leah and I walking slightly behind her as the woman asked for her order.

"Popcorn please. No hard bits." Liv said, barely able to see over the counter.
"You can get sweets too, Liv." I smiled.
"And - and - em - those ones, please." She pointed to her choice, leaving the staff behind the counter cooing over her.
"And a drink?" The cashier smiled.

Liv used her hand to motion Leah down to her level, whispering something in her ear. Leah nodded, placing a finger to her lips and shushing her while winking.

"And a Fanta, please." Liv whispered to the cashier.
"Olivia Kelly!" I joked.
"I asked!" Olivia chuckled, pointing towards Leah, who put her hands up to show her innocence.

Waiting for the film to start, Liv sat in the seat in between Leah and me, her little legs making it nowhere near the floor and instead swinging back and forth midair. She watched the trailers with such intense concentration that it was hard not to find her incredibly cute as she placed pieces of popcorn into her mouth. Just as the film started, Liv sat upright in her seat, leaving a gap between her back and the back of the chair. Leah immediately seized the opportunity, reaching her hand across the gap and wiggling her fingers to get my attention. I interlocked our fingers, shooting her a quick smile before Liv interrupted our moment.

"It's starting, look at the screen!" She said firmly, causing Leah and I to chuckle.

Liv slept most of the journey home, exhausted from her day of travelling and the excitement of going on what she referred to as a holiday. She woke briefly as we came to a stop outside the house, sleepily walking in hand in hand with Leah, barely staying awake to get changed into her pyjamas. I watched from the doorway as Leah placed a kiss on her forehead, stroking her hair back from her face, before saying goodnight.

"Night, Auntie Leah." Liv croaked, a smile on her face as she closed her eyes.

I dramatically cleared my throat from the doorway.

"Night, auntie Sophie." Liv chuckled, opening one eye with a devilish smile on her face.

Leah and I quietly made our way downstairs, reminiscing about our favourite parts of the day with the TV playing low in the background.

"How're you feeling now, Soph?" Leah whispered, her head snuggling into my chest.
"I feel fine, Le. I just needed to sleep."
"You promise?"
"I promise. Stop worrying about me, silly." I chuckled.
"Can I ask you something?" That jolted me upward.
"Yeah, anything."
"If I didn't have this, when would you have wanted to try for a baby?"
"I don't know, Le. You having endo doesn't change that, though. Does it change it for you?" I asked cautiously.
"No. Anyway, what do you want to watch?"
"No, go back. What're you thinking?"
"That maybe I don't want to wait as long as I thought. I always wanted to wait until my football career was over—well, the playing part of it anyway—but now I'm not so sure."
"I'm ready when you are." I smiled.
"I worry, though." She sighed.
"What about?"
"That it won't be normal, like the type of normal you could've had if you hadn't met someone like me."
"I'm not following?"
"Well - I wouldn't want to like - like - post and stuff." She trailed off.
"What do you mean, Le? Tell me." I said softly.
"If we had a baby, I'm not sure I would want us to post pictures and details and stuff. I don't want a baby that's all over social media, with people making videos of it and things like that. I can just about handle them doing that to us, but I think them doing it to our baby would actually kill me off."
"Why does that have to be a problem, though?"
"Soph, when I first met you, your Instagram was full of pictures of Liv. You've hidden them all now, afraid of her face being used by my fans in their videos. You never said it, but I know that's why. I also know that you loved showing her off; you're obviously going to feel like that about our baby; what if it causes resentment?"
"You're overthinking, Le, but I understand why you are. All that, all those invasions—I don't understand them, but I do understand that there's absolutely nothing you can do about them. If not posting it on social media is the small price I have to pay in order to have a family with you, then I'm absolutely up for that."
"You mean it?"
"I love you, Leah. And I will do anything to make this life with you. Anything."

Leah wrapped her arms more tightly around me, placing a delicate peck on my neck and exhaling the breath she had been holding in since we started this conversation.

"You make me feel so normal." She whispered.
"That's because you're pretty average in comparison to me, Le."
"Smartass." She chuckled.

I meant it. It did feel odd sometimes, having to think before I posted pictures of my fiancé, but it just made the ones I could post even more special to me. Anything. That's what I'd do for her.