VIRTUOSO - A MYG Story

DIVISI

DIVISI

To divide between players.

FAYE

It was at some point during the second half that everything changed. At first, the familiarity of Yoongi filled me with immeasurable joy and pleasure, a feeling of relief washing over me as he pulled me back in his embrace. I was smiling and giddy as my body shook from overstimulation, and I reached up to touch his face, wanting to feel a moment of love between us and only us. But when I saw the dark look in his eyes, I could see that gentle, loving Yoongi - the one I wanted to see in that moment - was gone.

Before I could put my finger on what it was that I was sensing, another blindfold was pulled over my eyes and I saw his darkened eyes disappear. This time, unlike all the other times, I wasn't excited. I could still feel Yoongi, but it was as if he disappeared. If not for seeing him approach, would I even have known it was him? I wanted to believe that I would. I was good at identifying who was inside me... who was kissing me.

Is this really something to be proud of?

Yoongi dove right into me, showing how anxious he really was to have a turn after he watched everyone else take theirs. He wasn't particularly gentle or sensual. It felt rough, empty, cold...

"Fuck, Faye... such a good little whore for me..."

Dirty talk was one of my favorite things. I wanted to hear Yoongi say it, but... not like this.

Who am I?

When he gripped my chin with firm, commanding fingers, not loving ones, I broke, just like the used up toy I suddenly realized I had become. All at once I felt panicked and anxious, my body crawling with the need to get out of there. And fast. I didn't even register what was happening before I was crying out "RED! Ratatouille!"

The blindfold was quickly torn away from my eyes and I saw Yoongi's heartbroken face. He looked like a rug had been pulled out from beneath his feet and it simultaneously felt like the air had been sucked from my lungs. Perhaps it was the embarrassment of suddenly causing the entire room to grind to a halt. Or maybe it really was just overstimulation. I darted my eyes away, knowing I was about to lose myself if I didn't. He cupped my face in worry, tried to get me to look at him, but I couldn't hear him. It all happened so fast, it was a blur.

Before I could even realize it, I had pushed him off of me, grabbing a crumpled up shirt off the floor - I don't even know who it belonged to - and ran out of the room, not turning back to address any of them. I couldn't. I heard their voices, but it sounded like a hum in the background. My mind was buzzing with mixed emotions. Confusion, anger, resentment, sadness...

Regret.

I regretted everything.

Why now? Why now after all of this?

I felt as if by running, I was abandoning them. I wasn't giving them what they all wanted anymore. I took away their toy, and I felt like they were only upset because I wasn't giving them my body anymore.

I was already out the door, getting into my car and starting the engine by the time they reached the front door. Refusing to look back, I pulled out of the driveway and the tears finally came. I couldn't face any of them. Maybe this was the single biggest mistake I'd ever made in my life, I thought. Maybe I ruined everything by allowing myself to become... that.

I didn't know where else to go. I wasn't even wearing pants.

Jane looked terrified and stunned as she saw me standing on her porch, barely covered by an oversized men's dress shirt, my hair in complete disarray.

"Faye!" she snatched me into her arms and pulled me inside, "Where is everyone? What happened to you?! Are you alright?!"

I couldn't blame her. I showed up here looking like a victim.

I'm not a victim. I'm a cheap whore.

I hated myself. I felt nauseous. Disgusting.

I couldn't explain it all to her, but let on enough for her to realize this was about polygamy. She politely avoided asking too much.

"Oh, honey..." she held me close to her, "It's never too late to turn things around. You don't have to hide from him. He loves you. He will want to make it right. Don't shut him out. You may end up regretting that more than what happened tonight."

"Haven't you ever made any mistakes, Jane?" I sniffled as my tears began to slow. Jane always seemed so level-headed and peaceful, despite her hardships.