VIRTUOSO - A MYG Story

CAESURA FILL

CAESURA FILL

When a single voice of the musical texture 

bridges what would otherwise be a gap between two sections.

YOONGI

Starting over seemed simple enough on the surface, but truthfully I didn't know what that meant. It seemed like, felt like she just wanted me to forget about everything and pretend it never happened. It felt like she wanted to take the easy way out of the wreckage she had left behind, but at the same time, I couldn't argue with her. I didn't have any better ideas. Starting over, whatever that meant, was the only option we had.

Once we got back to Tennessee, the band jumped right back into its normal rehearsal schedule, except we had shifted our focus to preparing for our upcoming recording session. I had a busy schedule of my own with lessons, therapy appointments, and rehearsals, but I found time to call Mom regularly and created a new routine, a new normal, with her. With every conversation, we slowly worked through a lot, answering each other's questions and getting to know each other all over again. Sang had begun talking to her again as well, so we would sometimes do three-way video calls. Mom was overjoyed to have us both talking to her again and she didn't miss an opportunity to tell us.

Things almost felt normal, but Dad was always notably missing from those calls, and I felt incredibly guilty about it. I felt like we were leaving him out intentionally.

Problem was, when Sang and I sat down and told him that we were talking to Mom again, and updated him on her whereabouts and new marriage, he lost it. He holed himself up in his house and would barely answer his phone.

Sang lived much closer to him than I did, so he would go over and knock on the door every couple of days, but Dad would only answer to tell him to come another time. We were genuinely beginning to get concerned because the cloud that seemed to be hanging over our father was beginning to swallow him and we felt helpless.

After I hadn't heard from him in days, in an act of desperation, I kissed Faye goodbye and headed to Maryland to visit Dad myself. I knew he might turn me away at the door, but I was willing to risk the journey to find out.

"Yoongi..." he looked stunned when he opened the door and saw me. His stubble had grown in and his hair was a mess. I'd never seen him looking so haggard before.

"Dad, can we please talk?"

For a moment I believed he wasn't going to let me in. He started to narrow the opening of the door, looking down at his feet evasively, but ultimately he nodded and gave in, welcoming me into his place.

His apartment was in a state of disarray. Dad had always been a fairly neat person all my life, keeping things around him minimalist and tidy. I was shocked to see that his home had fallen into such poor condition with stacked up dishes, trash, and scattered clothing everywhere. It looked as if he'd completely given up.