A Storm Is Brewing

Two Choices

Despite what anyone outside the law industry may think, I had just two choices; telling Leah the truth of the matter wasn't one of them. I could let her walk away from everything we had built, or I could tell her as much of the truth as I could without breaking the code of conduct. Allowing Leah to walk away from me for a reason that she would know soon enough anyway wasn't an option I was willing to take. Leah was the most loving, caring, and gentle person I had ever known; she didn't have a bad or toxic bone in her body, just a fear of being hurt by the person she had opened her heart and her life to.

I made my way upstairs, taking a deep breath before I opened the door to our bedroom. Leah was placing clothes into an overnight bag, tears streaming from her eyes but no dramatic shoulder movements; it was a heartbroken cry. The cry of someone who had just asked for reassurance and was met with silence; the cry of someone who wanted me to give her context to the meetings with her teammate so she could believe my pleas of innocence, something she had not received. I stood in the doorway, smiling inwardly to myself at the sight of a photo frame holding a picture of the two of us poking from the side of her bag.

"I would have the decency." I said softly.
"What?" Leah snapped.
"To leave. If I found someone else, I would have the decency to leave you."
"Why didn't you then?"
"Because I haven't found anyone else, silly. It's always been you, Le. I know that you know that somewhere in there."
"Didn't you listen to anything I said?" Leah raised her voice slightly.
"I should've reassured you right away. I just didn't want to tell a lie."

As I finished my sentence, Leah grabbed her bag and began walking towards the doorway, avoiding eye contact with me as she spoke between her sobs.

"Stop!! Please, I can't hear it. I thought I needed to, but I can't. Don't tell me."

As she got to the doorway, I placed my right hand around her waist to stop her, my left going to the side of the bag and lifting out the photo frame.

"Do you remember this night?" I asked, referencing the picture.
"Yes." Leah almost whispered.
"This is probably one of my favourite photos of us, you know."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, that's the night I promised your mum I would love you for the rest of my life." I smiled.
"I know; that was what made you decide to come to my apartment on my mum's birthday." Leah recalled.
"Yeah. I will."
"You will what?" Leah inhaled deeply in an attempt to silence her tears.
"I will love you for the rest of my life."

Leah's bag dropped to the floor, her eyes going to the picture for a few seconds before she placed her head into her hands and moved back to sit on the bed.

"But?" She sighed.
"There is no but."
"I don't understand, Sophie. I don't understand why you would need to see anyone that often. There are things that I thought were nothing that seem to make so much sense now."
"Like what?"
"I can't."
"Please, Leah?"
"No, I can't. Not like this."

I stepped into the room and closed the door behind me, drawing the curtains to block out the little bit of sunlight that was left in the sky. Leah moved her body so her back was against the headboard, making space for me to sit beside her, but her body language made it clear that she wasn't ready for my affection yet.

"Better?" I giggled.
"Better. I really need to get over that." Leah referenced her inability to talk without darkness.
"Minor detail. So come on, tell me."
"After the match, when you went to the toilet and ended up speaking to her for ages, there was a moment that I looked around the room for you; you had your neck bent to look her in the eyes, and I smiled at you, trying to cheer my mate up when there was clearly something wrong with her. Her speech to me about how lucky I was to have someone like you, I thought that was just a mate being happy for me. When her phone was connected to the speakers in the changing room and I went to change the song and saw your name on her screen, I thought you were wishing her good luck for the game."
"I was just trying to cheer your mate up that time, and she was just a mate being happy for you. Granted, I probably wasn't just wishing her good luck that time." I sighed.
"Have you fallen for her? Just tell me."
"Of course not, I don't see a time when I could ever fall for anyone else. I've been helping her with something. I can't tell you what it is; I really want to, but I can't. I've been helping her because she's a good person, because she's your teammate, and because she needs help. I've kept it from you because that's my job, and above all else, if I were to break that part of my promise as a solicitor, it could jeopardise everything your mum and I have put into the firm." I sighed.
"I feel really torn."
"What do you mean?"

Leah placed her hand on my cheek, gently rubbing her thumb across it, and placed a kiss on my forehead.

"I feel two very strong feelings right now, complete opposites of one another. On one hand, I'm so in love with your dedication to your job, the way you risk it all to ensure your clients are protected, and your unwavering commitment to it."
"And on the other?" I held my breath.
"On the other hand, I feel that I may be too vulnerable, too sensitive, and too insecure to live a life always wondering if you're hiding a case or hiding someone else." Leah sighed, removing her hand from my cheek.
"I would never, ever cheat."
"No one sets out to cheat, Soph, but it happens."

Fuck. I didn't know what to say, or how to continue sitting with Leah. So I did what I do best, I ran. Despite her pleading with me to stay and talk to her, I simply walked out of the room and got into my car. I kept driving until I reached the office. Was Hannah right? Am I too obsessed with my job to have a relationship that actually works?

As I keyed in the code for the alarm, my phone bleeped twice. I sighed at the thought of having to text someone back and pretend I was okay, not expecting that it would be from Leah.

Leah
Come home, when you're ready. Just please promise you'll come home.

Leah had sent a picture along with the text; it showed her engagement ring firmly placed back on her finger. I felt my eyes begin to water at the sight. I should've been happy, but all I could feel was sadness.

Sophie
I just need some space.