❀I'm A Trainwreck❀

P A R T F I F T Y

✰ Ashland's POV: ✰

Crying, crying, and more crying. That's been my alarm clock for the last week! Georgia and Carolina are officially a week old now. It's so wild to think they came early.. However though, even if they wake me up constantly, I'm thankful they're in my life physically now.

As for Jon, he's been trying his best to help out with Georgia and Carolina in any way he can, but sadly his label is wanting him to record music here and there, which means I'm alone with the twins a lot of the time... It mentally drains a woman, even more so since being diagnosed with postpartum depression. The things that no one tells you about is the fourth trimester; the postpartum part..

I'm not even able to breastfeed the girls either. I don't have a good milk supply come to find out. When the nurses had told me that small detail, it did upset me a lot more than it should have. I wanted to be able to have that extra closeness and bonding moments with both of the girls, but instead, I just have to feed them through a bottle. It makes me feel so damn ashamed of myself.

Speaking of the girls and crying though, that's what ended up waking me up at 3:35 in the morning. I don't remember the last time I've had a good rest- well, the last good night of sleep was the sleep I had in the hospital after the C-section. After that, my sleep schedule has been screwed.

I walked across the hall into the girls' nursery and grabbed Georgia out of her crib. She was the one who was wailing out. Thankfully, Carolina was still sound asleep... Maybe she'll stay that way- even if it's just for a few minutes. The only peace I get is when they aren't crying, honestly. It sounds bad, but it's a hard thing to adjust to. I mean, two babies is a lot more work than one!

I plopped a pacifier into her mouth and my arms started to rock her back and forth in a slight motion. She seemed to calm down little by little after being rocked and having her pacifier back.

A knock came at the door and I had noticed Jon had awoken and started to stroll into the twins' nursery. His arms then wrapped around my waist from behind, his chin rested on my shoulder.

"Need something, handsome?" I asked quietly so I wouldn't wake up Georgia since she just went to sleep.

He caressed at my hips and kissed my cheek, "Nope, I don't need anything. I heard the cries and wanted to help out if you needed it, Mamas."

Melting! Ahh, I'm melting! My fiancé is the sweetest man in the world. Even though he can't help as often as he'd like because of work, he's truly the best and only daddy those girls will ever have!

Jon's hands then carefully grabbed at Georgia's swaddled up self and he grinned down at one of our daughters. In fact, his smile was so wide, it looked like it hurt. If there's one thing I'm thankful for, it's the fact that we went through hell and back with Michael and here we are; engaged with twin girls.

"You know... I think Carolina is your mini me. She's got your cute nose.." I muttered softly as J put Georgia into her crib.

We walked out of the nursery and he grabbed at my cheek and laughed softly. The laugh made me weak, but as soon as I heard the words that spilled out of his mouth, it brought tears to my eyes.

"You are the most incredible fiancée and mother in the whole world. Me, Georgia, and Carolina are lucky as hell to have you in our lives. Now you go on ahead and go back to sleep," Jon remarked softly, kissing the top of my head. "I'll assist the twins if they start crying. You need rest, pretty girl."